Uncut Gems Quiz – Which Character Are You?

<span class="author-by">by</span> Samantha <span class="author-surname">Stratton</span>

by Samantha Stratton

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Respond to these rapid questions in our Uncut Gems Quiz and we will tell you which Uncut Gems character you are. Play it now.

“It seems like everything I do is going wrong.”

So sobs Howard, Adam Sandler’s adrenaline-junkie diamond trader and gambling addict in “Uncut Gems.” “Uncut Gems,” directed by Josh and Benny Safdie and set over a few days, follows Howard as he seeks to pay off his massive gambling debts by, of course, placing increasingly dangerous bets. There’s a chance that once he’s paid everything off, he’ll be able to start over and mend some of the bridges he’s destroyed. Everyone around Howard, however, is aware that this is a delusion. His addiction is far too strong. The “uncut gems” in the title don’t have a surface gleam. It fires in Howard’s core and shines at the earth’s core.

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It’s only natural that “Uncut Gems” begins with a sequence in which the camera enters a black opal (dug from the Welo opal mines in northern Ethiopia), which subsequently transforms into the interior of a human colon. Howard’s colon, to be precise, when he undergoes a colonoscopy. The visuals on the hospital display resemble the surreal space, curves, and layers of the opal’s innards. This is a bold metaphor, with a topic that is brought home with refreshing rhetorical candor. The opal is inside Howard, and his desire for it stems from the most primal part of his being. He suffers from “gold sickness” or “dragon sickness,” as J.R.R. Tolkien describes it in The Hobbit, the mesmerizing power of gems drawing men into lunacy since the dawn of time, on disastrous imperialist excursions in search of pirate’s gold, El Dorado, the Holy Grail. Howard’s black opal, like any other long-sought jewel, has a magical pull on all who gaze at it. Its significance is nearly entirely metaphorical. Also, you will find out which character are you in this Uncut Gems quiz.

Uncut Gems Quiz

“Uncut Gems,” co-written by the Safdies and regular collaborator Ronald Bronstein, transports you to Howard’s wacky universe. Howard’s diamond store in New York’s Diamond District is a teeny-tiny place with a circus-like ambiance. Howard’s shop’s double entrance, which requires two buzzes, acts as a barrier between him and the rest of the world, allowing him (at best) 10 seconds of lead time against anyone seeking for him. His employee Demany (LaKeith Stanfield) hustles clients who could be interested in the flashy products in Howard’s inventory, and the latest entice is Boston Celtics great Kevin Garnett (playing himself), who will be waiting for Howard when he returns from his colonoscopy. Howard can’t help but show Garnett his newest acquisition: an opal that Howard just brought back from Ethiopia and will be auctioned later this week (at a hugely inflated price). He tells Garnett about how he feels a bond with the Ethiopian Jews who mine the opals, and his enthusiasm is contagious. Howard agrees to let Garnett borrow the opal for good luck in the upcoming Eastern Conference playoffs. Also, you must try to play this Uncut Gems quiz.

Howard’s decision to answer “yes” is the first of several bad decisions he makes during the next 135 minutes. Goons follow him around and show up at his office since he owes so much money. These people are serious about their work. His wife (Idina Menzel) is enraged by his behavior. His daughter is barely able to stand him. His young mistress (Julia Fox) is staying in an apartment he has rented for her. Howard is constantly on the go, rushing out of rooms, down walkways, and across lobbies.

That’s the thing with addiction, and it’s something that “Uncut Gems” gets. The stress is, in some ways, the objective. The nerve endings are frazzled enough that they require the stress. Howard is useless if he isn’t in a panic. His mistress, too, is afflicted with a type of “gold sickness.” It is their most important connection. This isn’t a “warning story” about the risks of gambling. It’s more like a virtual-reality game in which you immerse yourself in Howard’s world.

About the quiz

The Safdies make use of New York City in ways that haven’t been seen since 1970s films. The city has been so cleaned up and gentrified and homogenized it might be easy to forget that so much goes on at street-level, so much chaos, the marginalized and lost seeking a foothold, the grifters and hustlers slipping through the cracks, working their angles. The Safdies’ “Heaven Knows What” was documentary-like in its approach, but their follow-up “Good Time” was a race-against-the-clock thriller, its action sprawling over the five boroughs. The Safdies are nervy, funny, and comfortable with discomfort. Their characters have no access to comfort, and yet in every moment they’re striving to escape, hustle, talk their way out of things, talk their way into things, get what they need, what they want. Veteran cinematographer Darius Khondji (a changeup from the Safdies’ regular collaboration with Sean Price Williams) brings out the sickly gleam in this world, the green-fuzz of the interior lighting, the glamour of some of the interiors juxtaposed with the sleaze of the others.

In a recent conversation between Adam Sandler and Brad Pitt for Variety’s Actors on Actors series, Pitt observed that even though Howard makes all these bad choices in “Uncut Gems,” you worry about the guy. It is Pitt’s contention that this is because of Sandler’s “warm-heartedness,” something you always feel, no matter the material. I think there’s something to that. You hear people expressing surprise when Sandler gives a good performance. There should be no surprise. When he’s given good material, like Paul Thomas Anderson’s “Punch Drunk Love,” or Noah Baumbach’s “The Meyerowitz Stories” (to name just a few), he’s as good as it gets. Behind his humor is pain and rage, both of which he is able to tap into. Here, as Howard, complete with goatee, fancy glasses, “club” clothes, he is a portrait of a man living on the edge. He never stops talking. He never stops striving, scheming, shouting, hustling. In his eyes is the devotional gleam of the big score.

“Self-delusion” is a redundant term. All delusions come from a willingness to buy into a fantasy, an off-chance, a long shot. In a delusion, your brain is a cage, and you are your own prison guard, monitoring the perimeters of allowable thought. Delusion feeds addiction, and addiction needs a constant supply of delusion. “Uncut Gems” shows this electrified-fence feedback loop like no other film in recent memory. It’s excruciating and exhilarating.

For more personality quizzes check this: Parasite Quiz.

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