Respond to these rapid questions in our The Wretched quiz and we will tell you which The Wretched character you are. Play it now.
A lot of the time, the frustrating ’80s horror homage “The Wretched” comes across as the kind of lazy nostalgia-bait that the Duffer brothers’ “Stranger Things” is occasionally unfairly criticized for. “The Wretched,” like “Stranger Things,” follows a group of plucky teenage protagonists as their hormones kick in (the girl next door!) and their parents lose their ability to deal with them (divorce!). The Wretched, on the other hand, is a little too cute about teen angst, and it’s not light enough on its feet to make you root for its ostensibly typical adolescent, unlike “Stranger Things.”
It’s important to note that there’s nothing inherently wrong with depressed marina attendant Ben (John-Paul Howard) or his frustrated attempts to solve the mystery of his creepy amnesiac neighbors and their missing child in this film. Because co-writer/director duo Brett and Drew Pierce (“Deadheads”) don’t seem to want to explore their gawky hero’s bleak summer—which includes living and working in a sleepy tourist town with his estranged father Liam (Jamison Jones)—beyond precious coming-of-age quirks and uninspired effects-driven horror beats, Ben is mostly a drag. “The Wretched,” while not quite living up to its title, isn’t particularly thoughtful, funny, or disgusting in the way that the Pierce brothers’ previous films have been.
Ben’s story is unequally divided into two parts: the horror film portion, which frequently feels like a watered-down/half-remembered Stephen King adaptation, and the film’s unpolished and generally unpleasant teen sex-comedy scenes, which are reminiscent of “Meatballs.” Unfortunately, the strongest link that connects these two halves of “The Wretched” is a pervasive, non-subtle kind of adolescent horniness that permeates the entire film. Ben is clearly going through a transformation, as evidenced by the fact that he appears in nearly every scene involving Mallory (Piper Curda), Ben’s flirty love interest, or Abbie (Zara Mahler), Ben’s haunted next-door neighbor, or both. Mallory is a sharp, sassy young lady from the neighborhood. She is presented as a welcome alternative to the cartoonishly cliquish popular teenagers who hang out at Liam’s marina in their rich fathers’ speedboats, who are presented as a welcome alternative to them. Additionally, Mallory is revealingly introduced to viewers in a gruesome early scene in which she over-emphasizes her favorite Starburst candy flavors: “It’s all about the strawberry and the cherry,” she says. Yikes.
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Abbie is even worse than Mallory because she, like Mallory, often appears to be a collection of hyper-sexualized femininity clichés: she has tattoos, drinks beer(!) and knows how to gut and clean a deer, to name a few examples. Abbie continues to be possessed by the malevolent woodland spirit known as “The Wretch” despite her efforts (Madelyn Stuenkel). Once that occurs, Abbie goes about her business in form-fitting clothing (love that low-cut dress!) and attempts to lure Ben and other young children into her cellar basement. Apart from that, Abbie and her husband Ty (Kevin Bigley) engage in boisterous sexual encounters near a well-lit window, right in front of Ben and his “Rear Window”-style binoculars. It’s possible that she’s actually asking for it…
The Wretched Quiz
If Mallory and Abbie had even a sliver of development beyond pandering to genre movie cliches, they could have been compelling foils for Ben’s adolescent fears. But they were not. Alternatively, the complete lack of psychological depth and/or emotional complexity appears to be the point of a hormonal genre exercise such as the film “The Wretched.” Which is particularly frustrating given that the Pierces write in the film’s press notes that they were inspired by Roald Dahl’s “The Witches” as well as “our own experience of living with our parents’ divorce,” which is a source of great frustration. With the exception of a very basic love/hate attraction to the very concept of strong, independent women, there is nothing particularly personal about “The Wretched.”
Also, you will find out which character are you in this The Wretched quiz.
Despite the fact that misogyny is an appropriate subject for a horror film, it is almost never addressed as such in “The Wretched.” It isn’t just that the Pierces are enamored with Ben’s adolescent lizard brain view of the world; they are also a little too eager to entrench/mythologize that mentality by neutering it in the same way that their favorite ’80s standards did previously. So, aside from a slew of icky sexual innuendo, blood and other bodily fluids—such as when Ben pukes on Mallory and then (unsuccessfully) tries to make it with another girl—are the most explicit aspects of the film’s sexual tension. There is no consideration given to any of these genre tropes, and as a result they frequently appear as items on a long checklist of the Pierce brothers’ favorite things. This includes a body horror-style monster transformation sequence that mercilessly swipes (I mean pays homage to) an iconic moment from David Cronenberg’s “The Fly,” to name a few examples.
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Ben’s world is rarely shown to be bigger than his libido, which means that “The Wretched” fails to work as either comfort food or gross-out entertainment in the long run. For example, when he sits and watches Ty and Abbie have sexual relations while on the phone with Mallory. While Mallory tries in vain to entice Ben to talk about the aforesaid puke episode, he simply shrugs her off: “This movie just got better,” he says peevishly, while adjusting the focus of his binoculars. This is something with which I cannot agree.
Also, you must try to play this The Wretched quiz.
Today, May 1, is the first day of VOD availability.
For more personality quizzes check this: The Wretched Quiz.
