Bad Samaritan Quiz – Which Character Are You?

<span class="author-by">by</span> Samantha <span class="author-surname">Stratton</span>

by Samantha Stratton

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Respond to these rapid questions in our Bad Samaritan quiz and we will tell you which Bad Samaritan character you are. Play it now.

“Bad Samaritan,” the spectacularly dumb and strangely entertaining bad-taste thriller, is the kind of film that many will assume can only be enjoyed ironically or with a certain level of emotional detachment. Despite its low-brow sounding title, this serial-killer horror film is anything but: former “Doctor Who” star David Tennant, who plays murderous trust-funder Cale Erendreich, chases after glassy-eyed, underachieving artiste Sean Falco (Robert Sheehan) in an expressive, sleazy, sub-Hitchcockian battle of snobs versus slobs. It isn’t a particularly good film, but it manages to be strangely endearing, thanks to the exuberant commitment of its creators to cheesy ideas.

It takes Cale’s wealth and perverseness to try and ruin the life of Sean, a young thief who makes the mistake of breaking into Cale’s ultra-luxurious home in Portland, Oregon, and causing him to lose everything. Two floors above Cale’s torture room, where he keeps his Maserati and meticulously mounted tool kit, Sean discovers an appropriately terrified Helen (Lisa Brenner) tied to a chair. Cale’s torture room is set up like a garage, complete with an impeccably mounted tool kit.

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“Bad Samaritan” starts out as a lurid stoner horror film, which is exactly what it becomes. This comparison isn’t made at random: early in the film, Sean is seen smoking a joint with his best friend/fellow thief Derek (Carlito Olivero), a restaurant valet who, with Sean’s assistance, sneaks into clients’ homes and steals their valuables one item at a time. Despite the fact that this table-setting scene of recreational drug use doesn’t reveal much about Sean, it does serve to cast the film’s slow-burning first act in an unintentionally amusing light. The fact that Sean is a stereotypical pothead may help viewers better understand why a later scene, which takes place in an outdoor car park, is shot with particular attention paid to Sheehan and Olivero’s highly visible breath as it rises from their mouths like dragon’s breath. And it’s possible that Sean’s one-time cigarette also unintentionally explains why there are so many low-key red herring jump scares throughout the first 45 minutes of the film. Moreover, what do you think of the film’s low-key lighting and hazy grey color palette? Perhaps this is what it’s like to be the Cary Grant character in a Hitchcock thriller, only super-high, young, and capable of making any number of stupid life decisions, such as attempting to call the cops on a super-rich guy who has a torture chamber in his home.
But you shouldn’t waste any more time and start this Bad Samaritan quiz.

One of the main pleasures of watching “Bad Samaritan” is puzzling over the motives of dim-bulb characters such as Sean, who are only half-baked at best. The main appeal of Tennant’s character, an absurdly calculating antagonist whose motivations are a great source of mystery, is, strangely enough, this aspect of his character (but not really). Thanks to his bizarre Freudian backstory involving horses and childhood trauma (which is hinted at in the film’s opening scene), Cale’s bizarre desire to destroy Sean is all the more tantalizing. Viewers who are open to Tennant’s motiveless killer half-scowl and half-pout like the Muppets’ Sam the Eagle as he painstakingly dismantles Sean’s life in the silliest and most aggressive ways are sure to find enjoyment in the performance. Nothing is sacred, not even Sean’s parents’ jobs, not even his Facebook password, and not even his girlfriend’s college lecture on… glaciers? Nothing is sacred.

Bad Samaritan Quiz

This film demonstrates the truth of the Oscar Wilde joke about how playing the piano “accurately” is overrated as long as you play “with expression”: you don’t have to be technically accomplished in order to make a fun, unsound piece of pulp fiction that entertains and misleads the audience. The sleazier scenes in the film, such as those set in Cale’s remote cabin, have a certain charm to them, especially the ones in which he locks Helen up in a homey jail-cell-like enclosure—complete with designer blankets and Land’s End catalogue-quality clothes—that looks like it was designed by Crate and Barrel. In these scenes, there isn’t a lot of gore or nudity, but there is a little bit of each. It is only because of Tennant’s gamely hammy performance that Cale’s rote serial killer backstory is tolerable (the man tears up scenery like Pacman gobbles up pellets).
Also, you will find out which character are you in this Bad Samaritan quiz.

That “Bad Samaritan” appears to have been made by people who refused to be stymied by their long-term lack of direct contact with actual human beings, as evidenced by the film’s tin-eared dialogue, is what I find most appealing about it. These filmmakers keep piling bad ideas on top of one another until bombs, literal skeletons, and live, menacing people start leaping out of closets, premature graves, and convection ovens, to name a few scenarios. Even if you’re experiencing ironic detachment, remember that if “Bad Samaritan” works for you, your pleasure can’t possibly be all that bad.

For more personality quizzes check this: Juliet Naked Quiz.

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