Respond to these rapid questions in our Kingsman The Golden Circle quiz and we will tell you which Kingsman The Golden Circle character you are. Play it now.
The franchise-style espionage thriller has long been ripe for parody, pastiche, update, or whatever else people think it’s ripe for at the moment. And now it’s finally happening. It was the comic book series “Kingsman” that served as inspiration for 2015’s “Kingsman: The Secret Service,” a blockbuster-sized action film with, at least on the surface, a cheeky attitude akin to that of “Kick-Ass” (also directed by Matthew Vaughn). For many, that film served as a perfect sendup, pastry, and update all at the same time. While the secret agent outfit Kingsman operates out of a high-end tailor’s shop rather than an official intelligence agency, it is a privatized law-enforcement security service with a lot of high-tech weaponry and convoluted cutting-edge tech protocol.
It’s possible that the film itself, a sort of bildungsroman in which naive recruit Eggsy (Taron Egerton) is catapulted to lethal gentlemanhood by older agent Harry (Colin Firth), was so slick and energetic that you didn’t realize what a callous, nihilistic, smirky, sexist, retrograde pile of expensive garbage it was at first glance. In fact, if you didn’t think about it too much, it managed to make its last-call anal sex joke seem mildly endearing.
One of the most telling characters in the first film was the character of Gazelle, who is a henchperson of the main villain and is a woman whose prosthetic legs are razor-sharp blade edges. She has the ability to amputate limbs and even cut a man in half with these tools. It is intended for the audience to titter at the loss of life and limb that is delivered so efficiently, with no pain and no mess. In the sequel, “Kingsman: The Golden Circle,” similar dismemberments and body halvings are delivered. The act of shutting up someone who bothers you is violence for cowardly voyeurs who want to silence the person who bothers you in a way that’s silent, sterile, and thoroughly humiliating to the victim.
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As a result of the film’s success, a sequel is in the works, with the script being written by director Vaughn and Jane Goldman in the script department. Putting a tracker on a villain’s girlfriend through a form of sexual assault that the current President of the United States of America once boasted about is not a good joke. If you think that having a woman co-write the screenplay will make a difference in the egregious gross sexism department, you are mistaken. Despite the fact that Eggsy is performing this act reluctantly, we are supposed to understand that this may be due to the fact that he is now in a committed relationship with the Swedish Princess who gave him anal sex in the first movie.
Kingsman The Golden Circle Quiz
With a running time of approximately two hours and 20 minutes, “Kingsman: The Golden Circle,” which finds the British tailors decimated and forced to join forces with an American spy network known as “Statesman” and starring such celebrities as Channing Tatum, Jeff Bridges and Halle Berry, is even longer than the first film in the series. Despite the fact that the movie is only six hours long, it feels like it is. The reason for this is in part due to the slow-motion nature of the film’s pacing; the film jumps jitterily from set piece to set piece and spends an inordinate amount of time on shots of its sharp-dressed characters slow-motioning into widescreen frames, showing off accessories that will be sold to you by various companies in various Kingsman tie-ins all over the Internet. The actor takes special care to ensure that the wooden Art of Shaving soap dish is facing the camera lens during a scene in which he is packing up his belongings.) The Art of Shaving has sent me at least a dozen emails in the last few weeks, all of which have something to do with “Kingsman.”
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The film also feels long because each gag or joke is dragged out far beyond the point of its amusement or shock value. The plot of this film, which is just as reactionary as the first, revolves around a drug cartel known as the Golden Circle, which operates out of a jungle under the control of Julianne Moore’s character, Poppy. (I hope the producers of this film paid Moore a hefty sum of money, because all she provides them in exchange for her fee is a passable Megan Mullally impersonation, which is still far less than they should have received.) Poppy is extremely wealthy and powerful, but she is also isolated and lonely. As a result, she has kidnapped Elton John and is forcing him to perform exclusively for her and her alone. Elton John is played by none other than the man himself. As Sir Elton becomes an integral part of the plot and an action sequence is played out over one of his more raucous numbers, the joke becomes sour and the joke becomes beaten worse than a dead horse until it is no longer amusing. “Enough,” one might think, but in the philosophy of this film, the word “enough” does not exist.
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In a way, I suppose it does in a certain way. In the film “Kingsman: The Secret Service,” the villain Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson) conned various world leaders into participating in his twisted doomsday plan, after which he implanted a device in their necks that, unbeknownst to them, had the capability of blowing up their heads if triggered. One of the world leaders was supposed to be selected for then-President Barack Obama’s security detail. And at the conclusion of the film, all of the head-exploding devices were set off, and the audience was invited to guffaw in delight at the sight of Barack Obama’s head blowing up in front of them. The plot of this film revolves around tainted drugs that have the potential to kill all of the world’s substance abusers. In the film, the scheme, which was initiated by Moore’s character, is covered by Fox News, none of whose correspondents are shown to be tainted. Because, as far as we know, no one who works for Fox News engages in drug use. This film also includes a President of the United States, but not a real one, as was the case in the previous film; instead, this film’s president is white and played by Bruce Greenwood. The fact that this film is produced by Fox is most likely a coincidental coincidence. In the context of this film, the fact that it was made by people who invited you to laugh at the violent death of the United States’ first black president probably means nothing. This film will not touch Donald Trump with a ten-foot pole, either. They can’t possibly be racist, can they? They cast Halle Berry in this film, and Samuel L. Jackson in the previous film, which is currently in production. At the very least, they approve of black actors.
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Speaking of actors, this is a film that makes you question their place in society as a whole. What makes you think Colin Firth and Channing Tatum can be themselves as soul-dead and life-hating as the characters in this film? Do you think Jeff Bridges, Poppy Delevingne, Julianne Moore, Michael Gambon, and the rest of the cast can be themselves as soul-dead and life-hating as the characters in this film? If this is not the case (which is most likely, or at the very least hopefully, not the case), who do we hold responsible? Who are their agents? Is it really the entire bloody system that’s broken?
For more personality quizzes check this: Daddy S Home 2 Quiz.
