Respond to these rapid questions in our A Dog S Purpose quiz and we will tell you which A Dog S Purpose character you are. Play it now.
During a particularly difficult music-industry assignment, the recording artist Steve Albini once remarked that it was “a job I wouldn’t wish on a dog I didn’t care about.” I’m having a similar experience to that dog right now because I have to review “A Dog’s Purpose.” The assignment didn’t appear to be too difficult until about a week ago, when animal rights activists—or was it TMZ?—came to the rescue. Or perhaps a combination of the two? Who can say?— made public a video of one of the film’s several dogs refusing to perform a stunt and being mocked for its ostensible cowardice before being coerced into performing the stunt. Instantaneously, the prospect of two hours of “lookatdapuppy” was transformed into the prospect of two hours of “lookatdapuppythatmighthavebeenabused,” and seriously, who wants to sit through, let alone provide some kind of objective professional assessment, of something like that?…
Those slapping the cat around scenes in “Satantango” were, on the other hand, genuine slappings of a cat around scenes, and I’m not convinced that the horse that was standing on the platform of the wooden staircase that collapsed in “Andrei Rublev” got up and trotted away. Get me started on Bertolucci’s “1900,” which, despite the fact that he was eventually consumed in the form of delicious sausage, I have no doubt was enjoyed by those who eventually ate him. It is not intended to be a realistic depiction of the misfortune our differently-individuated fellow creatures find themselves in on this planet, but it is directed by Lasse Hallström, who has also directed “My Life as a Dog” (which is not really a dog movie) and “Hachi: A Dog’s Tale” (which is absolutely a dog movie). No, it is intended to be an inspirational story based on the premise that dogs exist to serve their human masters and companions. As a result of Josh Gad’s energetic narration, that one dog is reincarnated an insufficient number of times to accomplish the goal of redeeming his former master’s existence.
This is a very strange film. In this film, which was co-produced by Amblin, Steven Spielberg’s production company, the action takes place in a Michigan early 1960s that has been production-design burnished to a nostalgic fare-thee-well. The rogue sanitation workers who come across a Red Retriever puppy and believe they can make a few bucks selling it are the highlight of this idyllic depiction of America when it was Great Before… Only, they leave it to dehydrate in their vehicle while they go to lunch with their friends. With the help of young Ethan and his feisty mother (Juliet Rylance), they are able to rescue the puppy, provide it with water, and eventually adopt him, despite the doubts of his good-natured but hard-drinking traveling salesman father. Things keep moving along smoothly, but the slapstick involving rambunctious Bailey (for so is the pup’s name) frequently escalates to a level that would send another dog to a training camp for two weeks or something. The humor is somewhat inappropriate when it isn’t over-the-top in its delivery. Teenage Ethan eventually meets a girl named Hannah (Britt Robertson), and the adorable young lady is captivated by Bailey, who is intrigued by her and her smell as well. She snags the dog by his gleaming, lustrous scuff and scratches the back of his neck with her nails. Bailey says, “My buttocks itch.” Bailey says this in voiceover. Great. “Old Yeller,” rewritten by the cast of “The Hangover,” is exactly what the world needs right now. It is not true that no “Hangover” writers were involved in the production of this film.
But you shouldn’t waste any more time and start this A Dog S Purpose quiz.
Then things start to get very dark, very quickly. Dad’s heavy drinking progresses to full-blown shambling and striking-out alcoholism in his later years. (This is made even more disturbing by the fact that, if you’ve been paying attention to the cause and effect action, it’s strongly implied that the guy’s job was lost in part as a result of the dog’s bad behavior.) One of Ethan’s football teammates, who is envious and resentful, pulls a joke on him that results in appalling consequences. After having all of his All-American hopes and dreams snatched away, Ethan is sent to a life of loneliness at agricultural school, where he meets and befriends the most unlikely people.
A Dog S Purpose Quiz
Yikes. Then Bailey dies, and the film’s second hour is devoted to the various forms that the dog takes before discovering his ultimate purpose in life. There’s the German Shepherd police dog (the one featured in the TMZ video), whose human handler is depressed and despondent. Having the misfortune of having to pursue a kidnapper (who also happens to be an acrobat, given his police-evading climbing abilities) who’s brought his victim to a reservoir, this one proves to be a hero in the noblest and somewhat depressing way that can possibly be imagined. (And, yes, that water does appear to be extremely dangerous, whether for a German Shepherd or a human.) There’s the ice-cream-loving Corgi (I believe) who assists his over-achieving mistress in her search for romance (Kirby Howell Baptiste). After that, there’s the dog adopted by a rural punk rock chick — those people are the most despicable — whose neglect is so severe that it can barely be voiced over. But hold on a minute! This dog discovers freedom and eventually comes across Ethan, who has grown up to look exactly like Dennis Quaid in appearance. Oddly enough, he hasn’t had a girlfriend since Hannah, which is strange. As a result, Bailey discovers his ultimate goal.
Also, you will find out which character are you in this A Dog S Purpose quiz.
No, I’m not kidding.
About the quiz
This movie has its moments—what movie wouldn’t have them if it featured such an adorable assortment of pooches? Plus, Mr. Quaid, who is not only movie-star handsome but also a competent actor, sells his fifteen or so minutes onscreen. However, the strange tonal shifts, philosophical fallacies, and general level of treacle did not sit well with me at all. On the other hand, I have to admit that I am more of a cat person than anything else.Also, you must try to play this A Dog S Purpose quiz.
For more personality quizzes check this: A Bad Moms Christmas Quiz.
