Respond to these rapid questions in our Bloodshot Quiz and we will tell you which Bloodshot character you are. Play it now.
The comic book adaptation “Bloodshot,” which is as concerned with “family” as the “Fast and Furious” franchise, is far less satisfying than even the worst films in the “Fast and Furious” franchise. “Bloodshot” is a must-see for Vin Diesel fans who can’t wait for the next installment of the macho soap opera series “Fast and Furious.” The family in question here is that of Ray Garrison (Diesel), whose life is put in danger as a result of her husband’s mercenary soldiering activities. Now, if you want to go into director Dave Wilson’s sci-fi actioner with the same naiveté that I did, click away from this review. If you still want a taste of what you’re in for, here are a few phrases you would have heard if you had stayed: “universal soldier,” “robotic cucarachas,” “needle drop abuse of the Talking Heads,” and “blatant rip-off,” to name a few.
However, despite the fact that “Bloodshot” is an adaptation of a comic book (which I have not yet read), screenwriters Jeff Wadlow and Eric Heisserer take their cues and plot details from a slew of far superior films in the same genre. Some of the most popular films of the last few decades, including “Terminator 2: Judgment Day,” “Robocop,” and “Total Recall,” have been thrown into a blender, leaving you longing for the original ingredients. The most obvious influence is the film “Universal Soldier,” which shares so many plot elements with “Bloodshot” that it can be considered a blatant rip-off. That film spawned three sequels, and I can only hope that the bloodline of “Bloodshot” comes to an end here.
To add insult to injury, the screenwriters resort to that self-defensive meta-plot that drives me up the wall, in which characters acknowledge that “hey, we’re ripping off this particular movie” and “hee-hee-hee!” are being referenced. “Don’t these genre tropes that we’re employing seem a little dated and stale?” This approach is so full of insincerity and passive-aggressive cowardice that it either invites the audience to feel superior to the material or, worse, acknowledges that the filmmakers are aware that they are peddling an inferior product to the consumer and that you are a sucker for buying it. If a film damns the torpedoes, fully commits to its madness, and goes down in flames, I have more respect for it than a film that deliberately sets itself on fire as a precautionary measure. But you shouldn’t waste any more time and start this Bloodshot quiz.
Bloodshot Quiz
Here’s an example, and be warned: there will be spoilers ahead: Following a successful mission, Garrison returns home in the first scene of “Bloodshot.” Tallulah Riley plays Gina, his wife, with whom he spends a romantic night before being ambushed by henchmen working for Martin Axe (Toby Kebbell). With his wacky personality and sadistic streak, Axe is the stereotypical action movie villain. He dons a goofy coat and dances to the song “Psycho Killer” in order to taunt Garrison, who is chained up. When the Talking Heads were subjected to this needle-drop exploitation, I wrote “‘Psycho Killer’? “Really?!” I scribbled in my notebook. In the space of ten seconds after that, I wrote, “OK, I’m down.” Doctor Emil Harting (Guy Pearce), the film’s antagonist, makes a snarky comment about the film’s use of the song and describes it as “stupid.” It’s as if the filmmakers were anticipating my initial reaction but had no confidence in my ability to eventually buy into their vision and cooperate. Also, you will find out which character are you in this Bloodshot quiz.
It is Eric (Siddharth Dhananjay), the computer programmer who runs Harting’s simulator, who is ultimately responsible for the musical selection in the film’s universe. For you see, Garrison is actually an extinct soldier who has been reanimated and implanted with false memories of his wife’s murder in order for him to exact brutal vengeance on Harting’s adversaries. The simulator implants the same exact recollections in Garrison’s mind, but the identity of the dancing killer is changed by the simulator. The simulator, on the other hand, retains the song, making the dialogue that draws attention to it even more obnoxious than before. Eric, in a stunning display of self-ownership on the part of the “Bloodshot” writers, is said to have constructed Garrison’s quest from bits and pieces of other action movies. Harting points out that he did a poor job on everything from the script to the penis jokes. Nonetheless, it is an effective facsimile because Garrison executes the plan every time his brain is rebooted, which is a lot of times. Also, you must try to play this Bloodshot quiz.
KT (Eiza González) and Jimmy Dalton (Sam Heughan), two formerly dead or injured soldiers who have benefited from Dr. Harting’s robotic initiatives, are assisting Garrison, or rather, playing their parts in this endless loop of wrongly accused men being splattered. KT (Eiza González) and Jimmy Dalton (Sam Heughan) are two formerly dead or injured soldiers who have benefited from Dr. Harting’s robotic initiatives; she Harting himself is armed with a powerful robotic arm that appears to be based on the Nintendo Power Glove in design. When his subordinates become disobedient, he uses his artificial limb to punch a few buttons on a computer to torture them until they submit.
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Garrison possesses the most impressive characteristics of all. In their place, he has been infected with tiny insect-like creatures, whose job it is to quickly repair any damage to his body. They effectively make him invincible and virtually immortal because you can’t kill something that’s already dead, according to the rules. Garrison is able to withstand hundreds of bullets, be run over by a truck, and survive point blank grenade explosions as a result of this. They get to work immediately after each PG-13-rated incident of carnage, reconstructing our hero from the ground up. In a stroke of good fortune, the 1984 Tom Selleck film “Runaway” inspired my fascination with robotic roaches, and these little buggers are responsible for the one-star portion of my grade above.
Lamorne Morris, who goes by the wonderful stage name of Wilfred Wigans, receives an additional half-star for his performance. Garrison’s computerized body was created by Eric using open source code stolen from Wigans, who is also a techie who is such a legend in the field of robotic programming that Eric stole his open source code to use in Garrison’s computerized body. This is an important plot point because you already know that Wigans is going to hack into the servers that control Garrison at some point in the future. The programmer in me found the mere notion that something this ridiculously powerful and dangerous could have come from an open source platform to be hilariously entertaining, and I thoroughly enjoyed Morris’ accurate and amusing portrayal of my coding brethren. If you are not a coding whiz like your humble reviewer, you should remove that half-star from your rating.
The action sequences, on the other hand, appear to have been edited using a Cuisinart. Their movements are near-impossible to follow, and I witnessed this magnified in IMAX. The climactic skyscraper elevator battle, which was inspired by the film “Mission: Impossible,” could have been spectacular if it had not lacked any sense of physical space and geographical layout. As a result of this, the computer-generated imagery (CGI) leaves a lot to be desired, though there is one spectacular sequence in which an entire neural network-simulated environment is assembled around Pearce and Diesel. The camera movements, editing, and design all work together to elicit a sense of wonder and non-ironic commitment from the audience, which I wish had been carried through the rest of the film. A bad actioner that is self-aware enough to write its own negative review on the screen as it unfolds, “Bloodshot” is a more accurate depiction.
For more personality quizzes check this: MHA Heroes Rising Quiz.
