Cry Macho Quiz – Which Character Are You?

<span class="author-by">by</span> Samantha <span class="author-surname">Stratton</span>

by Samantha Stratton

207
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Respond to these rapid questions in our Cry Macho quiz and we will tell you which Cry Macho character you are. Play it now.

Clint Eastwood will turn 92 in May of this year.

Now. It is necessary to take a specific kind of stock of this fact. Manoel de Oliveira, a Portuguese director, lived to be 106 years old. And he finished his final film in 2015, the year before he passed away. To put it another way, when we talk about Eastwood’s ostensibly late filmography and we take into account the speed with which he completes his films—which some have claimed also results in slapdash results, with the fake baby from 2014’s “American Sniper” serving as Exhibit A—we can consider that he may still have another 14 or 15 films in him. That’s important to remember when discussing his “late” filmography, which is exactly what we’re doing right now.

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Because even if Eastwood maintains his current production pace for another decade or more, “Cry Macho,” which he directed from a script that had been kicked around for years by Nick Schenk and N. Richard Nash and which began as a 1975 novel by Nash (and which this film adapts very loosely, to put it mildly) will end up being one of his more unusual films, according to the critics. The film’s title and trailer suggest that it will be a blistering action thriller with a likely tragic ending. The film itself is a completely different experience.
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For the first 20 minutes or so, one may be staring through the fingers of a facepalm, trying to figure out what it is exactly that they are looking at. A beautiful montage of Western sunrises and starkly beautiful desert plains alternates with story-establishing scenes that are awkwardly slapped in the face of the audience. Beginning in 1979, the film depicts Eastwood’s Mike Milo arriving at the horse ranch of Dwight Yoakam’s Howard Polk well after the lunch hour, a scene that is repeated several times throughout the film. Howard informs Mike that he is late, to which Mike responds, “for what?” When Mike doesn’t respond, Howard launches into an expository tirade that includes references to Mike’s past as a rodeo star, mentions of the inevitable “accident,” and so on. When Yoakam sings “Before the pills… Before the booze,” he does so in a decidedly declamatory tone before dropping the hammer with the line “You’re a loss to no one.” His son, now a teenager, lives with his hard-partying mother Leta in an abusive household, and he fires Mike. A year later, he re-hires Mike, asking him to travel to Mexico and kidnap his son, who is now a teenager. Mike accepts the shady position because he still owes Howard something.

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The situation is made even more awkward when Mike arrives in Mexico and discovers Leta in a mansion, surrounded by two bodyguards and telling Mike that he is welcome to the kid—a gambler, drinker, and cockfighter named Rafa (Eduardo Minett), who is not yet 14 years old—if Mike can locate him. Irresponsible Mother even tries to entice Mike into her bed with her seductive charm. That’s a bit of a stretch, really. We can learn a lot from Eastwood’s continuing film career, including the fact that there are discrete gradations between old and new. Mike Milo should be a character in his late sixties to mid-seventies based on the way the script is written. Regardless of how good Eastwood appears, 1990 or 1991 is not the late 1960s to mid-1970s. Even if the spirit and the flesh are equal partners in the pursuit of personal intimacy, even the most game woman on the planet will think twice before jumping the bones of a nonagenarian for fear of shattering them.
Also, you will find out which character are you in this Cry Macho quiz.

You’re probably wondering when this movie will become good enough to merit a higher rating from me. To be completely honest, it does necessitate a certain amount of patience, if not indulgence. Rafa is discovered by Mike, who discovers that Rafa is, in fact, a cockfighter who has named his rooster “Macho.” They make it out of a police raid on a cockfight and head out on the road, with one of Leta’s bodyguards following behind them. Rafa is overjoyed at the prospect of living on a horse ranch in Texas; as Howard has assured Mike, the youngster is a huge fan of cowboys and westerns. During the course of their relationship, Mike expresses to Rafa his hard-bitten skepticism about overvaluing toughness—”macho” in and of itself, as it was popularly referred to both north and south of the border during the time period depicted in the film. Everything about this is pleasant, if a little predictable.

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After the midway point, the film really begins to take off and shine. After a few narrow escapes from both bodyguards and police officers, as well as some hasty car switching, Mike and Rafa find themselves in a small Mexican town not far from the border with Mexico. Initially, they seek refuge in a small restaurant owned by a middle-aged woman named Marta (Natalia Traven), and later in a small shrine dedicated to the Blessed Mother, both located on the outskirts of town. Mike offers his assistance in breaking the wild horses when the two arrive at a horse ranch where they stay for the night. He also teaches Rafa how to ride a horse, claiming that if he doesn’t know how to ride, he won’t be much use in Texas.
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Mike has a natural affinity for animals, and the people of the town soon begin to treat him as if he were a veterinarian. Mike and Rafa are introduced to Marta’s grandchildren, one of whom is deaf; Mike is able to sign, and he establishes an instant and vital connection with the young lady.

These insignificant occurrences are depicted in scenes that are beautifully shot and unhurried. This is Eastwood’s take on the American pastoral. In a sense, Mike is putting his shattered life back together. He enjoys the feeling of helping others and being of service to the community. When Marta prays to begin a meal, the professed agnostic takes her hand in his and seems to enjoy it. The simple sincerity with which the characters discuss what is important in life is the film’s raison d’être. There is nothing more or less to say.

Starting on Friday, September 17, the film will be shown in theaters and on HBO Max for a 30-day period.

For more personality quizzes check this: Chaos Walking Quiz.

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