Respond to these rapid questions in our F9 The Fast Saga quiz and we will tell you which F9 The Fast Saga character you are. Play it now.
The latest installment in the “Fast and Furious” series, “F9,” had few notes, but one near the top of the first page could stand in for the others: “Oh, sure, why not?” I didn’t have many notes on “F9,” but one near the top of the first page could stand in for the others: “Oh, sure, why not?”
In reaction to a scene shown in trailers and advertisements in which street racer and thief Dominic “Dom” Toretto (Vin Diesel) flees from pursuers during a jungle chase by triggering the rocket booster on his souped-up vehicle, soaring off the edge of a cliff, and using a cable that has been fired into a mountain on the other side to swing him and his wife, Letty Ortiz (Michelle Rodriguez), to safety Like Tarzan clinging to a vine. That is the type of film that this is: a film that says, “Oh, sure, why not?” When James Bond meets the Road Runner cartoons, something magical happens. Isn’t it true that in the movie “Commando,” when John Matrix is held hostage by a dictator’s goon on a commercial flight, kills him in his seat with a neck snap as the plane is about to take off without anyone noticing, then crawls into a landing gear housing and drops into a swamp that just happens to be conveniently located at the end of the runway? What about when the good guys in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” jump out of an imploding plane with an inflatable yellow raft instead of parachutes, inflate the raft as they descend, plop onto a snowy mountain embankment at an angle that allows them to slalom to a river?
“F9” is similar to this. It’s all of it.
According to numerous fans, the “F and F” films have evolved into an international, multicultural, hip-hop friendly answer to the James Bond franchise. However, the most recent films have been Bonds from the Roger Moore era. “Moonraker” or “Octopussy” are the only names that come to mind when considering this new one. I’m voting for “Moonraker” because a satellite plays a role in the story. I would go into greater detail about the plot if I thought I would be able to keep track of it and if I thought it would matter, but it really doesn’t. The plot of these films was never the primary reason that people went to see them. In the chases and stunts, the bruising fights and mythic posturing, the repeated invocations of [rumbling Vin Diesel voice] FAMMMM-LY, and in the soap opera/professional wrestling-style storytelling, which allows bad guys to become good and introduces new characters who are told to mean the world to an established character despite the fact that their names were never mentioned in the previous films, the appeal lies.
But you shouldn’t waste any more time and start this F9 The Fast Saga quiz.
“F9” is about Dom Toretto’s long-lost brother Jakob Toretto (John Cena), who disappeared from Dom’s life in 1989 after being accused of causing a car crash that killed their father, a professional race car driver. The story picks up in the present day, where Dom is living off the grid with his wife Letty and their son when Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Chris “Ludacris” Bridges), and Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel) show up to inform them that Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell), a national security bigwig, has captured their old antagonist Cipher (Charlize Theron, who was first introduced in “The Fate of the Fur After that, the camera cuts to Montequinto, where the gang is rummaging through the wreckage while dressed as though they are going to a barbecue. It turns out that Jakob is responsible for the crash and that he transported Cipher to his boss, a young, wealthy Northern European psychopath named Otto (Thue Ersted Rasmussen). To accomplish this, Otto plans on procuring and putting together two halves of a top-secret device that will be able to control the security networks of every country on the planet. He also has a father, who is only mentioned in passing and never seen. (Put Mads Mikkelsen in the tenth film, you scumbags, you cowards.)
From there, the espionage aspect becomes even more complicated to deal with. Moreover, as with most of the entries in the second half of the franchise, none of the twists are particularly significant, except when they play into the idea of Dom’s band of brothers and sisters as an improvised family of outsiders, one that occasionally includes people related by blood but is more often based on shared values, loyalty to the tribe, and a willingness to die for the tribe. Diesel and Cena, on the other hand, are taking the whole “long-lost brother who did a heel turn” thing extremely seriously. They treat it as if it were a grand opera. As far as I can tell, this is the most admirable and risky approach to take—kudos to any actor who is willing to look ridiculous, which is a risk that is constantly present in this series—even though there are times when you might recall that both Cena and Diesel have been funny in other projects, and nobody asked them to even smile in this one. Everything is dark and stormy all of the time. After a while, Cena’s scowling, glowering, and jaw-flexing become a little monotonous and repetitive. It’s possible that you’ll wish the movie would skip ahead to the big confrontation between Dom and Jakob that puts an end to all of the family’s disputes. The final moments between the characters, on the other hand, are moving in a World Wrestling Entertainment kind of way.
F9 The Fast Saga Quiz
Despite the fact that the action sequences are thrilling and intentionally hilarious, the digital effects and compositing are of a variable quality. Amazing panoramas and impossible stunts are brought to life in a way that makes you believe they could actually happen in some of these shots. The deaths of others are shown onscreen, and they look like they came straight out of that horrifying early-aughts era, when Hollywood filmmakers asked effects houses to do things that the technology could not yet support. At about two-thirds of the way through the film, there’s a gleefully deranged subplot that provides fans with something they’ve been only half-jokingly requesting from the franchise for several years. And the Montequinto section imagines what might happen if Dom and company went to Jurassic Park (the CGI’d shots of cars and trucks on winding rainforest roads are so gloriously primal that you wouldn’t be surprised if the crew was attacked by velociraptors in one of the scenes).
Also, you will find out which character are you in this F9 The Fast Saga quiz.
What else do you require to be aware of? Toward the end, there’s a truck chase that looks like it could have been an outtake from the 2007 film “Speed Racer,” as well as a lengthy action sequence in which a character rappels from one end of a city to another, or so it appears (because the sequence goes on for what feels like half a day, the rappeller defying both gravity and city planning a la Spider-Man). During the course of the film, Helen Mirren appears as Magdalene Shaw, mother of Deckard, Owen, and Hattie Shaw, a sixtysomething jewel thief who is still super-smooth and powerfully sexy. As she drives like a bat out of hell through the streets of London at night, delivering exposition to Dom and smirking the entire time, as if she knows she could lay Dom if they weren’t in a moving vehicle. While they’re sitting in a coffee shop in broad daylight, Dom asks her a series of clarifying questions with patience. A common theme in both wrestling and soap operas is that characters who appear to be dead turn out to be alive (this is a standard trope in both wrestling and soap operas), and characters who appear to be evil turn out to be good or at the very least not beyond redemption (ditto; the franchise also goes the other way when it feels like it). It’s similar to the Bond films and “Mission: Impossible” in that no cape is worn, although the red leather pants Cipher wears when she’s imprisoned in a glass box are exuberant in the way Catwoman goes to Studio 54 is exuberant in the way Catwoman goes to Studio 54. You can tell director Justin Lin enjoyed the leather pants because he has Theron wear them throughout the entire film.) – Many of Theron’s lines are delivered while she is looking over her shoulder, which allows the audience to appreciate how much time she spends at the gym.)
As always, Gibson and Bridges make a fantastic comedy team, and Rodriguez’s scenes with Diesel are grounded in emotional reality, lending them a weight that the rest of the film lacks and isn’t particularly interested in. With his mopey majesty, Diesel manages to hold the whole thing together. His rumbling baritone and sad eyes have become unbearably moving in recent years. As a depressive he-man and doom-racer, Lin captures him as though he’s a posthumous statue of himself, and the photographs look like they were taken after his death. It’s mind-boggling to realize how long Diesel has been portraying Dom and how much the character has evolved over the years. Dominator is Diesel’s Rocky Balboa, and Indiana Jones is Diesel’s Indiana Jones. In the first film, he played the role of an antihero, a badass who was good when the situation demanded it (like his other great recurring character, Riddick). When Diesel began to appear larger and more tragic, perhaps after the last film in which he co-starred with the late, lamented Paul Walker, Dom’s responsibilities to his family and perhaps Diesel’s investment in a franchise in which he has a financial stake, Diesel began to appear both bigger and much older and more tragic.
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Dominantly, gut-first, brokenly swaggers Dom at this point, his face radiating hard-won wisdom, his enormous arms arced beside his body in a pincer shape. Essentially, he’s Popeye the Sailor Man in the role of Atlas, transporting the world around the clock and only stopping to kick ass when the situation calls for it. In this one, he kicks a lot of ass. There’s even a scene in which Dom fights a dozen men with nothing but his bare hands. At one point during the melee, Lin cuts to an overhead shot of the combatants piled on Dom like children piled on an adult, almost as if she were winking in our direction. Dom has come to a complete stop. Is he no longer alive? Aw, no way in hell. Just wait until the bodies start flying through the air like potato sacks. The character, as well as the franchise, are indestructibly strong.
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The film will be released in theaters on June 25th.
For more personality quizzes check this: Black Widow Quiz.
