Fatman Quiz – Which Character Are You?

<span class="author-by">by</span> Samantha <span class="author-surname">Stratton</span>

by Samantha Stratton

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Respond to these rapid questions in our Fatman quiz and we will tell you which Fatman character you are. Play it now.

An example from the real world Santa Claus could very well be like the character in the film “Fatman”: world-weary and exhausted from decades of work, frustrated with children these days, and receiving an annual stipend from the United States government in exchange for the seasonal boost his generosity provides to the economy. Santa Claus could very well be like the character in the film “Fatman.” Despite the fact that Eshom and Ian Nelms are fraternal co-writers/co-directors, they successfully and somewhat cleverly convince us of the life and workings of a real and bitter Santa, who is struggling to make ends meet and has lost his festive spirit. Everyone else has profited from his image and good deeds, but he is unable to pay even the most basic of bills, such as his electric bill.

This version of the Santa legend introduces an intriguing concept: a character who must deal with the challenges of a changing world, the everyday necessities of leading a relatively ordinary life, the grueling stress of running a failing business enterprise, and the temptation to compromise his morals in the name of a quick and easy payday. About half of this particular tale, which stars Mel Gibson as one Chris Cringle, the legendary Santa with magical healing abilities and intimate knowledge of everyone he meets, as well as an old crank who complains about the way the world is and takes out his frustrations on assorted Christmas-themed cans with a pistol, is based on the novel by Richard Bachman.

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That section of the story is amusing, not only because of the significant twist on the character’s backstory, but also because of the potential for satirical bite in the story’s conclusion. Despite this, there is a second chapter to the Nelms’ story, which revolves around a pair of cruel and resentful individuals who believe they have been wronged by Santa.
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A pre-teen boy who is wealthy and spiteful, already convinced of the greatness implied by his privileged upbringing, and another who works as a professional hitman who enjoys collecting toys from Santa’s workshop as a side hobby when not out murdering people for money, are the subjects of this story. As a result of receiving a lump of coal from Santa for Christmas (to be fair, he deserved it after ordering the abduction of a classmate for having a better science project than him, and threatening her with a severe shock from an automobile battery), Billy (Chance Hurstfield) hires the assassin, known as the Skinny Man and played by Walton Goggins (admittedly cold and reptilian), to kill “the fat man.”

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Though the filmmakers clearly see these particular characters as the foundation of their twisted premise and the vehicles that propel the central plot forward, this side of the story also has some promise. The premise, of course, is that Santa Claus is a real person who has been targeted for murder by some unscrupulous individuals with a vendetta against him. The plot revolves around the mysterious hitman getting closer and closer to Santa, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake, and eventually coming face to face with him in a violent confrontation.
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The fact that it’s all in service of something as fundamentally routine as Santa Claus is somewhat disappointing, given the amount of effort the Nelms brothers put into figuring out how a real-world Santa operates and how to convincingly transform the character to match the concerns of that reality. In terms of the hitman, whose motivations and animosity toward Santa are left vague until the climax, the filmmakers could have done much more with him and much less with the kid, who represents the worst of everything that Chris has come to despise but who fades into the background once the hitman is on his way.

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We’re mostly left to enjoy what we can within the story of the bitter Chris, as the assassin, who is merciless and slightly eccentric (he has a pet hamster that he takes on his road trip up north to find his target), closes the distance between us. Ruth (Marianne Jean-Baptiste), his wife, is a talented knitter and cookie baker who is determined to rekindle her husband’s holiday spirit. Because so many children are now on his naughty list, Chris only receives half of the usual government subsidy, which means that his business of making and distributing gifts every Christmas is in jeopardy of going out of business. Therefore, he reluctantly accepts a military contract, which means that the elves—yes, real elves—working in his workshop will spend the next few months creating not toys, but parts for fighter jets.
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Granted, Gibson’s performance as this twisted version of Santa is fine; however, his performance, like the entire film, is simply based on a single, warped idea that doesn’t hold up to scrutiny. The film’s true stars are its slightly clever gimmick and straightforward plot, which make up for the fact that it falls short of a great deal of what it could have been.

For more personality quizzes check this: Save Yourselves Quiz.

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