Fifty Shades Of Black Quiz – Which Character Are You?

<span class="author-by">by</span> Samantha <span class="author-surname">Stratton</span>

by Samantha Stratton

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Respond to these rapid questions in our Fifty Shades Of Black quiz and we will tell you which Fifty Shades Of Black character you are. Play it now.

In between all of the tasteless racial jokes, random pop culture references, and wacky-kinky sexual hijinks, “Fifty Shades of Black” actually may have something of substance on its meandering mind. There are gags involving prosthetic penises (of the freakishly large and small varieties), and between all of the gags involving prosthetic penises (of the freakishly large and small varieties).

Seriously. Listen to what I have to say about this.

It is, in fact, a parody of the horror genre directed by Wayans, similar to the “Scary Movie” and “A Haunted House” film franchises, although the film was not shown to critics before it was released, so this fact should not come as any kind of surprise to you. Indeed, it is every bit as crude, immature, disorganized, and utterly repulsive as the movies of this genre typically are. And before you ask, yes, it is making fun of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” phenomenon, which is a ripe example of low-hanging fruit if there ever was one. However, there is a moment near the end that makes one wonder if maybe, just maybe, Marlon Wayans and the rest of the cast were trying to make a pointed statement about culture.

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But you shouldn’t waste any more time and start this Fifty Shades Of Black quiz.

Wayans plays Christian Black, a character who is a send-up of Christian Grey, the hunky, tortured billionaire sadist who appears in E.L. James’ terrible but addictive “Fifty Shades” novels. Wayans also serves as the show’s star, co-writer, and co-producer. In the pivotal scene, Hannah Steale, played by Kali Hawk as a parody of the virginal but curious Anastasia Steele, asks Christian to give it to her as hard as he can. As he does so, he contemplates her punishment by looking at the assortment of whips that are hung on the wall of his Red Room of Pain. They have the titles “Amistad,” “Glory,” “Django Unchained,” and “12 Years a Slave” written on them. That is dexterous all by itself. But then Hannah takes the idea even further by turning the tables on Christian and dishing out her own floggings. She does this, she says, as retribution for the sufferings of the characters played by Kerry Washington and Lupita Nyong’o in the films “Django Unchained” and “12 Years a Slave.”

(She also makes a dig about how gratuitous it was that her counterpart in “Fifty Shades of Grey,” Dakota Johnson, was naked for a significant portion of the movie. (Despite being cutesy and meta, it’s actually a really good point.)

Fifty Shades Of Black Quiz

This one scene gives the impression that Wayans, co-writer Rick Alvarez, and director Michael Tiddes are actually trying to say something about the fetishization of slavery in film under the guise of art and awards-season prestige, despite the fact that the majority of “Fifty Shades of Black” is giggly and gross. They are comparing the sickening violence of those movies with the titillation of what is essentially glossy soft-core porn. This is a very dangerous way of thinking. The power dynamic is completely altered in fascinating ways when a powerful and intelligent black woman is put in charge.
Also, you will find out which character are you in this Fifty Shades Of Black quiz.

The moment passes quickly enough, and then Hannah is back to having her head slammed between the elevator doors in the luxurious penthouse that Christian owns. However, it is sufficient to provoke some thought, even if only for a moment.

The majority of “Fifty Shades of Black” is precisely what one would anticipate it to be. It captures all of the nuances of the original text while simultaneously amplifying those nuances, and it seems to understand the inherent absurdity of the premise even better than Sam Taylor-film Johnson’s did.

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The awkward interview for her college newspaper; Christian stalking Hannah at the hardware store where she works; the awkward photo shoot; the even more awkward coffee date; the first visit to the Red Room of Pain; the negotiation of a sexual contract are some of the key moments that fans of the series are sure to enjoy reliving. Other key moments include: the meet-cute when Hannah literally falls into Christian’s office on her hands and knees; the awkward photo shoot; the even more awkward coffee date; the first visit to the Red Room of And all of them are linked together by a series of aerial shots that show the glittering skyline of Seattle. As far as the cohesion is concerned, that is about it.
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There are numerous long detours and non-sequiturs throughout the text. Some of it is funny, particularly the parts that make fun of “Magic Mike” and “Whiplash.” The vast majority of them do not, including everything that has to do with Hannah’s sexually promiscuous roommate, Kateesha (Jenny Zigrino), a white woman who wallows in offensive black stereotypes. (On the other hand, there is most likely a point being made there as well about how different races get along. Simply put, it isn’t particularly clever, and it’s much simpler to go for the obvious joke.) Jokes that are casually discarded about Bill Cosby, Cuba Gooding Jr.’s films, and The Weeknd (the original song “Earned It” from “Fifty Shades of Grey” was nominated for an Academy Award) are hit or miss. The comedic scene involving a Taser and the Black Lives Matter movement is ineffective because it is overly simplistic and fails to provoke thought.

But there is one thing I will say about “Fifty Shades of Black”: It made me laugh more frequently than “Dirty Grandpa” did, which is saying something. That is to say, I found myself laughing on multiple occasions. In the month of January, you really can’t ask for much more than that.

For more personality quizzes check this: Fifty Shades Of Black Quiz.

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