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“You are the realization of a dream. You, on the other hand, arrived a little too soon.”
Throughout “I Carry You with Me,” the bittersweet ache of this line, which is spoken in voiceover, is accompanied by a weighty sense of reality that lies beneath the story depicted: where love is not allowed to develop naturally, where love is welcomed into an unwelcoming world, where love is unable to express itself for a variety of cultural and political reasons. It is said that timing is everything. Worst-case scenario: your ideal partner arrives too soon, before you are ready, and before the rest of the world. If you wait ten years, the soil might be a little more inviting, but by then everything else has changed as well. This is the complex atmosphere created by Heidi Ewing’s film “I Carry You with Me,” which was directed by Ewing and co-written by Ewing and Alan Page Arriaga.
“I Carry You with Me” is a dramatization of the real-life love story of Iván Garcia and Gerardo Zabaleta that dramatizes their relationship, which dates back decades, and then flashes forward to show who and where they are in the present. A true hybrid, the film jumps back and forth in time, showing the real men in the present day while using actors to dramatize the men’s love story in the distant past. Ewing comes from a documentary background, and this is her first feature-length narrative film.. Ewing, who was nominated for an Academy Award for her work on the 2006 documentary “Jesus Camp” (which she co-directed with Rachel Grady), brings her documentary sensibility to this project, which she works on with the incredibly talented Mexican cinematographer Juan Pablo Ramrez.
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Current-day Iván Garcia serves as our “entrance” into his own story. The film opens with dreamy shots of a well-known chef riding the subway in New York City, before flashing back to his early days as a young man in Puebla, Mexico, where he was struggling to find work as a kitchen assistant. Iván, played by the talented Armando Espitia, clears tables at a restaurant in the hopes of getting a chance to demonstrate his culinary abilities. He is the father of a son, and his relationship with his son’s mother is strained. He has no money, and he has no future. He also has a little secret of his own. He is taken to a gay bar in Puebla by a friend, where he meets Gerardo (Christian Vazquez), a teaching assistant at a nearby university. Their initial conversation lasts until the wee hours of the morning. There is an emotional connection that goes beyond the physical (but the physical is good too). Gerardo has been expelled, whereas Iván has not. For fear of being barred from seeing his son in the future, he has decided to come out. Neither of the men has the support of his or her family.
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Meanwhile, the promise of the United States of America beckons. The stories that Iván hears about people who have “crossed over” and how much better life is “over there” inspire him. Perhaps he should give it a shot. Perhaps it would be the best course of action. But how is he supposed to leave his son? What is the best way to get away from Gerardo? The timing is extremely unfortunate. It was too soon for Gerardo to arrive.
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Many scenes are shot with a hand-held camera, but the film is well-planned with insert shots of food, faces, street scenes, shadows and weather to break up the monotony of monotonous dialogue. Besides the characters’ interactions, the camera captures the texture of their worlds, including the rooms they live in, the food they eat, their eloquent gestures and glances, the silences, and the sensuous pleasure of skin against flesh. In short, the camera captures everything. Not only does it take a very sensitive eye to capture footage like this, but it also takes a very sensitive eye to combine it all into a coherent whole. Documentaries rely heavily on this type of footage because small details such as the knick-knacks on a mantelpiece reveal more about a character than any dialogue they may say in their own words. Flashbacks are elevated above the level of being rote re-enactments thanks to Ewing’s tender specific approach. In addition, she has cast the film sensitively and effectively. They are vulnerable and intelligent young actors dealing with extremely complicated and painful issues, but their love for one another is simple and unambiguous, as is their relationship with one another. This is no small accomplishment.
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In what was originally intended to be a love story, albeit a forbidden one, is transformed into an immigrant story; Iván suffers in New York from the isolation of exile, not only from his home country, but also from everyone he cares about. When the present-day scenes begin, we finally get to meet the real Iván and the real Gerardo, and it’s a wonderful feeling to finally meet these two men we’ve grown to love over the course of the film. The hybrid structure of “I Carry You with Me” introduces a number of issues, the majority of which concern the song’s overall balance. Considering that dramatizations comprise the vast majority of the film, it is understandable that the contemporary documentary sequences feel tacked on when they first appear.
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The majority of the consequences of Iván’s “crossing over” have been positive. In addition to being a well-known chef and having his own restaurant, he has made a name for himself. However, there have been devastating ramifications for his ability to travel to Mexico to see his family and see his son, which has prevented him from doing so. Because he entered the United States illegally, he will be unable to return, despite the fact that he has been a valuable and responsible member of his community for more than two decades. He hasn’t seen his son in more than two decades. His son has been denied a visa on numerous occasions. These policies targeting undocumented immigrants are purposefully cruel, and the song “I Carry You with Me” depicts the anguish of being separated from one’s family as a result of such a policy.
Many aspects of the film are complex, and it covers a great deal of ground; however, the emotions depicted are straightforward and relatable to the average person’s experience. Once the credits have rolled, the title, like the rest of the film, gains additional resonance. Iván is not only transporting Gerardo, but he is also transporting himself. He’s lugging around everyone he’d left behind.
Select theaters are now showing the film.
For more personality quizzes check this: My Country My Parents Quiz.
