Respond to these rapid questions in our I Still Believe Quiz and we will tell you which I Still Believe character you are. Play it now.
In terms of box office receipts, “God’s Not Dead” was one of the more unexpected success stories of the past year. The low-budget Christian drama follows the development of a campus-based battle of wills between a hard-hearted philosophy professor who requires his students to literally sign a document announcing that God is dead and an earnestly devout student who, unsurprisingly, holds a different point of view and refuses to sign the document.
A lot of people thought the film was terrible—a frequently ridiculous stew of straw man arguments, stacked decks, an overpowering persecution complex, and an oddly peripheral subplot involving a liberal blogger out to really do a number on those Duck Dynasty guys—and it received a lot of negative feedback. However, it clearly struck a chord with its core audience of evangelicals and Kevin Sorbo fans, and the film went on to gross upwards of $62 million worldwide on an estimated $2 million investment. As if sensing an opportunity to capitalize while the iron is still hot, the producers and writers of that film have returned with “Do You Believe?,” a film that begins on a reasonable level of restraint but quickly devolves into something so ridiculously ham-handed that it almost makes its predecessor appear reasonable and open-minded in comparison. Also, you must try to play this I Still Believe Quiz.
I Still Believe Quiz
This is one of those multiple-narrative tales, with a number of different subplots that eventually come together in theoretically unexpected ways—the kind of format popularized by Robert Altman in such classics as “Nashville” and “Short Cuts,” refined even further by Altman acolyte Paul Thomas Anderson in his equally brilliant “Magnolia,” and debased beyond belief by the atrocity that was “Crash.” “Magnolia” is set in Detroit, and A minister (Ted McGinley) is moved by the words of a mysterious street preacher (Delroy Lindo) carrying a massive cross, and he and his barren wife (Tracy Melchior) take in a pregnant teen runaway (Madison Pettis), a church janitor (Brian Bosworth) who takes in a homeless mother (Mira Sorvino) and child (Makenzie Moss) while trying to. Also, you will find out which character are you in this I Still Believe Quiz.
There’s nothing particularly bad about the first few scenes that introduce all of these characters and their various agendas. They aren’t particularly good, but when compared to the lunacies of “God’s Not Dead,” there isn’t much that is particularly objectionable about them, aside from the fact that the other members of the thug’s gang (all of whom are African-American, by the way) are given names like Kriminal and 40 Ounce and the admittedly bizarre sight of Mira Sorvino and Brian Bosworth acting opposite each other. After accomplishing this, however, screenwriters Chuck Konzelman and Cary Solomon appear to have become concerned about alienating their core audience, as evidenced by the absurd plot developments that follow. When an EMT chooses to proselytize to a dying accident victim instead of performing his actual job duties, he ends up being sued for everything he owns by the secular humanist widow and her money-loving, religion-hating lawyer (Andrea Logan White)—because he refuses to admit that he did anything wrong, his union will not support him, and even his wife is on the verge of abandoning him—because he refuses to admit that he did anything wrong, his As a side note, the lawyer is married to an unbeliever doctor (Sean Astin) who, in one particularly remarkable scene, becomes irrationally upset at the sight of a couple saying grace before eating before going on to lamely misquote Alec Baldwin’s big speech from “Malice.”
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Because of the way it alternates between the relatively grounded and the punishingly preachy, “Do You Believe?” demonstrates that while it may not be as convulsively awful as its predecessor, it is unquestionably a more schizophrenic moviegoing experience overall. Director Jonathan M. Gunn handles some of the more emotional moments, such as the ones involving the unexpected relationship that develops between the soldier and the would-be suicide, in a surprisingly touching manner (perhaps not coincidentally, this plot thread is the least overtly religious-minded of the bunch). But you shouldn’t waste any more time and start this I Still Believe quiz. It also appears to be going out of its way to include elements that will excite the audience, regardless of whether or not they are effective from a dramatic standpoint—characters (particularly the EMT’s wife) find their behavior shifting from scene to scene without rhyme or reason, and the runaway recounts how she fled her home because her evil stepmother attempted to trick her into having an abortion. When it comes to the finale, in which all of the storylines finally come together (and how), Konzelman and Solomon appear to be suggesting that, if there is a God, He or She is apparently a fan of the other, superior “Crash,” as they once again rely on a traffic accident to help tie things up at the end.
Because it has been designed to reinforce viewers’ already deeply-felt beliefs rather than causing them to think about or challenge those beliefs in any meaningful way, “Do You Believe?” will no doubt play well with viewers who are already predisposed to liking it because it has been designed to reconfirm viewers’ already deeply-felt beliefs rather than causing them to think about or challenge those beliefs in any meaningful way. The film will most likely be laughed at by those who are not as invested in its core message (though not nearly so much as “God’s Not Dead,” a film so risible that it will be screened next month at the 2015 American Atheists National Convention, complete with riffing by two of the guys from the late, great “Mystery Science Theater 3000”), and they will have no reason to question their own personal value systems. I find this disappointing because I would rather watch a film that presents an opposing viewpoint in an interesting and provocative manner than one that simply reiterates what I already believe any day of the week. On the plus side, if “Do You Believe?” makes a big splash at the box office, which it is likely to do, it may finally bring Brian Bosworth back into the spotlight and bring the long-awaited sequel “Stone Cold” to fruition. Even I would be willing to bend the knee for such a cause.
For more personality quizzes check this: Bloodshot Quiz.
