Respond to these rapid questions in our Kidnap quiz and we will tell you which Kidnap character you are. Play it now.
If you saw the trailer for this film and thought to yourself, “Wow, how did Academy AwardTM-winning Halle Berry end up in this seemingly mediocre piece of schlock?” I’m sorry to break the news to you, but you’re in for a disappointment. Instead of “ending up” in the film, Halle Berry is one of the producers. (Although, admittedly, there appear to be at least a dozen others as well.) Furthermore, the film “Kidnap” is not only schlock, but it is also garbage.
Berry portrays Karla, a single mother of a six-year-old boy named Frankie who is both adorable and endearing. It turns out that she isn’t yet single; her unseen husband is divorcing her and requesting sole custody of their child. Everything is based on income equality. (Karla works as a waitress at an unremarkable Louisiana diner, whereas the husband and his new girlfriend live in a more upscale neighborhood. Karla learns of this unfortunate development through an attorney and her iPhone, all while she and Frankie are attempting to spend some precious quality time together at the park. Frankie is snatched from her phone call by an unknown assailant.
But you shouldn’t waste any more time and start this Kidnap quiz.
Kidnap Quiz
You probably haven’t heard the name “Frankie” screamed so many times since your bobbysoxer days, not that you were necessarily alive at the time of the occurrence. After receiving no response, Karla dashes to the parking lot, where she discovers Frankie being loaded into a battered hatchback car by a large, burly woman. She has such a strong maternal instinct that she does not realize she has dropped her iPhone in the parking lot until she is driving around in her cherry-red SUV, trying to catch up with the perpetrators. Knate Lee’s screenplay, if that’s what you want to call it, is an important plot device for the obvious reason that Karla is unable to call for assistance in the event of a disaster. Rather than doing anything useful, she and we are forced to waste time in a loud car chase scene that accomplishes nothing and leads nowhere other than to the next plot hole.
Also, you will find out which character are you in this Kidnap quiz.
About the quiz
Think about what would happen if someone attempted to recreate the classic Steven Spielberg highway chase film “Duel,” but none of the people involved in the production had any knowledge of how to make a movie. That’s a good way to describe this section of “Kidnap” as well. Halle Berry screams, a speedometer revs from 40 to 60 (whoa! ), muddy lightning-flash shots of automobiles ramming into each other like bumper cars, and other scenes. Despite the fact that her son is in the hatchback and, on the basis of current evidence, is unlikely to be in a bumper seat or wearing a safety belt, Karla has no qualms about attempting to drive the vehicle off the road. Karla breathes a sigh of relief after she causes a three-car collision, complete with overturned exploding vehicles. That will attract the attention of the authorities. After learning this from her radio, the cops swoop in on another cherry-red SUV, which she promptly abandons. “No, no, no, no, no, that’s the wrong minivan!” says the narrator. Karla bemoans the situation. (Because Berry is essentially a one-woman show behind the wheel, her character spends a lot of time talking to herself in this film.)
Also, you must try to play this Kidnap quiz.
Nothing about the action is even remotely interesting. Later in the film, Karla is forced to eject an unwelcome passenger from her vehicle, which she does with difficulty. One can see two human figures wrestling while one is driving in a series of fast-moving blurs throughout the montage. In fact, you can’t see any of the events that lead up to the climax of the scene, which is Berry successfully throwing her out of the car. Instead, director Luis Prieto cuts to an exterior shot of the car, where the door opens, and the interloper tumbles out. There is no actual linear progression from point A to point B, and there is no depiction of cause and effect relationships. Just a lot of “intense stuff happens,” as the saying goes. It’s the cinematic equivalent of the reductio ad absurdum.
For more personality quizzes check this: Fist Fight Quiz.
