Respond to these rapid questions in our Love The Coopers quiz and we will tell you which Love The Coopers character you are. Play it now.
“Fill the Halls with Garbage.” “O Night Most Unholy.” “Jingle Hell.”
These are some of the not very good alternative titles that came to my mind while I was fighting the urge to leave the room while “Love the Coopers” was being performed. Even before I entered the theater, the holiday movie, which was more sour than it was warm and fuzzy, had already offended the former copy editor that I am. Is that a crime? The name does not contain any punctuation at all.
Even a child in the third grade would be able to tell you that there should be a comma after the word “Love” because, as the merry-go-round folly of a cliché-engorged opening montage confirms, it refers to the clan’s preferred salutation on their greeting cards, which uses, yes, a comma. This is something that even a child in the third grade would know. In its current form, it sounds like a request or a command. To which the proper response would be an emphatic double negative with an accompanying exclamation point: ho-ho-NO!
In a normal situation, I would point the majority of the finger of blame at director Jessie Nelson (“I Am Sam”) for delivering such a jumbled, toxic snow globe of a movie complete with a brewing storm, caustic quarreling, and excessive caroling in an effort to undermine sentimentality. However, in this case, I cannot place the majority of the blame on Nelson. But I have a sneaking suspicion that the screenwriter Steven Rogers (“Hope Floats,” “Stepmom”) is more to blame, even if it’s just for packing too much into the plot. There are way too many clichés used in the storytelling, such as a narrator in the style of “A Christmas Story” on top of flashbacks of past holiday memories with younger actors who barely look like their adult versions. This is a problem because the story isn’t very good. The fact that Steve Martin is the voice actor doesn’t help matters one bit. There are far too many individuals to even begin to take an interest in any of them. In addition, there is an excessive reliance on music, both seasonal and otherwise (Sting, Nina Simone, and Bob Dylan), to fill in the emotional gaps that are present.
But at least Nelson, who throws in a cute kid or an adorable doggy into the proceedings like cheap tinsel whenever things get too cynical, has been successful in recruiting three Oscar winners and one recent nominee for her cast. They give off the impression that they live in some kind of 21st-century Bedford Falls, where it must be against the law to not cover your house or place of business in garish seasonal decorations while Santa Clauses congregate in large groups on the sidewalks like some sort of North Pole adaptation of “West Side Story.”
But you shouldn’t waste any more time and start this Love The Coopers quiz.
Diane Keaton plays the matriarch of the dysfunctional family. She is a Martha Stewart-type complete with a festive apron who demands one more happy gathering with her extended family before she and husband John Goodman announce that they are separating after 40 years of marriage. Keaton performed much better in the slightly similar dysfunctional family holiday dramedy “The Family Stone” in 2005, which was released in 2005. What is it that is driving them further apart? Goodman wants to finally go on his long-delayed dream trip to Africa, and while Keaton is too involved in the lives of their grown children, he wants to go to Africa regardless of whether or not she comes along.
Marisa Tomei appears in the film in the role of Keaton’s stereotypically spinster sister. She is filled with resentment, suffers from low self-esteem, and is battling a problem with shoplifting. The problem is that the vivacious Tomei, who is 50 years old compared to Keaton’s 69, is not believable as either her sibling or as a spinster. Keaton is 69 years old.
Alan Arkin, on the other hand, is a good choice for the role of their father. His attraction to Amanda Seyfried’s character, a lonely waitress at a diner, who is 52 years younger than her co-star, is meant to be touching but is actually just plain creepy. This is true even though the film makes reference to Charlie Chaplin’s attraction to a waif-like blind girl in “City Lights,” which is supposed to make it acceptable. The wonderful June Squibb, on the other hand, is relegated to the role of Aunt Fishy, a bewildered resident of an old folks home whose major scenes involve eating the roof of a gingerbread house and exposing her underpants, similar to what she did in “Nebraska.”
Love The Coopers Quiz
Others who come along for the ride include Ed Helms as Keaton and Goodman’s jobless son and father of three who is going through a divorce; Olivia Wilde as their unlucky-in-love playwright daughter who would rather hang out at the airport bar drinking dirty martinis than spending one extra minute with the folks; and Anthony Mackie, who provides diversity as well as subtlety as a reclusive police officer who catches Tomei in the act of stealing a brooch
Also, you will find out which character are you in this Love The Coopers quiz.
Before we get to the terrifying feast where everyone either says the wrong thing or shares unpleasant revelations until someone lands face down in a bowl full of mashed potatoes, there is a long list of naughty and not very nice lapses in logic and good taste for the sake of being edgy. These lapses in logic and good taste are done for the sake of being edgy. Just a few examples include the following:
Is it funny that the angel-faced toddler daughter of Helms likes to repeat a phrase she heard her mother say to her father: “You are such a dick!”?
Does anyone find it funny that Goodman frequently butchers the lyrics to Christmas carols, such as when he sang “brown yon virgin” during “Silent Night”?
About the quiz
*How is it possible that Keaton can spend the entire day hanging out with Goodman and their granddaughter doing fun Christmas stuff, and yet she can instantly whip up a fantasy spread consisting of massive platters of elaborate dishes and desserts without breaking a sweat?
Also, you must try to play this Love The Coopers quiz.
*How is it appropriate for Helms to permit his awkward teenage son to make out with the girl he has a crush on in the waiting area of the hospital after a family member has become ill? *
*And why is it necessary for a character to reveal that they are gay in a manner that is not only uncomfortable but also implausible?
The makeshift relationship that Wilde invents to impress her parents with a soon-to-be-deployed soldier (Jake Lacy, who was terrific in last year’s “Obvious Child” and scores again here) is the only reason to watch all of these shenanigans. Jake Lacy was terrific in last year’s “Obvious Child” and scores again here. Lacy’s sincere military man is able to break down her defenses, despite her obsessive need to debase his political and religious beliefs. There is something sad and yet authentic about her lack of connection with others, and there is also something authentic about how Lacy’s military man is able to do this (Republican and Christian).
At least “Love the Coopers” has the nerve to even broach the subject of faith in what is otherwise a mainstream and primarily secular movie about the holiday season. But it loses most of those points with its odd choice of turning outdoor snowmen, gingerbread men, and chocolate figurines into a Greek chorus that comments on the action with their silent scowls. [Citation needed] [Citation needed]
Aside from that, when the audience members leave, they should provide plenty of disapproving reactions all by themselves.
For more personality quizzes check this: The Last Witch Hunter Quiz.
