Respond to these rapid questions in our Rings quiz and we will tell you which Rings character you are. Play it now.
Given that I’ve always thought the various installments in the “Ring” film franchise—both the original 1998 Japanese version and the wildly successful 2002 English-language remake, as well as their various sequels—to be fairly dumb, I can’t say that I was giddy with excitement at the prospect of seeing “Rings,” the long-awaited sequel that attempts to reintroduce the saga to a target audience that may not have even been properly potty-trained when the previous All of that being said, while those films were made with a certain level of skill, I am willing to concede that Naomi Watts’ performances in the American ones were far superior to what the material deserved, despite my dislike for them. “Rings,” on the other hand, is devoid of even the most insignificant of saving graces.
If you haven’t already forgotten, the conceit of the “The Ring” saga revolves around the discovery of an unmarked videotape that contains a short surreal film that is supposed to be indescribably eerie but instead appears to be a runner-up title at a lesser underground film festival. Most people would find it difficult to sit through something like that, but immediately afterward, you receive a phone call from a little girl who says “Seven Days,” and if you do not make a copy of the video and have someone else watch it within that time frame, you will die a horrifying death. This video is about a young girl named Samara, who lived a sad life and died violently, and whose spirit can be seen haunting the video. She now haunts those who watch it and has a proclivity to climb out of television screens in order to claim her victims, which she does on a regular basis. Yes, I realize how ridiculous this all sounds, but believe me when I say that it was considered to be frightening stuff back in the day.
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This time around, the story revolves around a pair of adorable “teenagers”—Holt (Alex Roe) and Julia (Matilda Lutz)—who are going through a difficult time in their lives. Although he is heading off to college, her mother is ill, so she is staying at home to care for her. The two make a promise to stay in touch, but when Holt suddenly disappears, Julia drives up to the college in order to find out what is going on. Julia becomes suspicious after receiving a dismissive response from her favorite teacher, Professor Gabriel (Johnny Galecki), and follows him to a campus building where Gabriel and a group of students are attempting to unlock the secrets of the tape by watching it and observing its effects, always taking care to have someone else view the tape with them to ensure that they are not in danger. With the mood lighting and hipster vibe, the facilities appear to be more akin to a club that is trying too hard than anything else. It would be interesting to learn how Gabriel was able to get his budget approved.
Rings Quiz
As a result of Julia’s decision to watch the video herself in order to temporarily save Holt after Gabriel’s program inevitably goes awry, the two of them embark on yet another journey in the hopes of uncovering the secrets behind Samara in order to bring her peace while also saving their own skins. Their destination this time is a near-ghost town, the site of her presumed burial 12 years prior and the location of the disappearance of a popular local girl 30 years prior. Additionally, the couple discovers that Julia’s copy of the video appears to contain an additional video within it, which contains strange new footage that corresponds with the bizarre hallucinations she is currently experiencing—yes, Samara’s haunted movie of the damned now has an extended director’s cut! Further intrigue is provided by Vincent D’Onofrio, who portrays a blind caretaker who provides the children with some crucial information.
Also, you will find out which character are you in this Rings quiz.
As ridiculous as the early scenes involving Professor Gabriel and his students are (and even Peter Venkman might question the scientific validity of his research), they at least diverge from the other Rings films and could have led to something potentially interesting in the right hands if the film had been directed differently. In the unfortunate case of F. Javier Gutierrez and the trio of credited screenwriters, those hands evidently did not belong to them, as they quickly abandon all of that in order to offer yet another rehash of familiar material. There is little tension to be had because it is almost entirely familiar material, despite the superficial attempts to bring the material into the age of smartphones and social media. Even the big “BOO!” moments feel tired and half-hearted because they are so obvious. However, unlike Naomi Watts, who was able to sell the silliness with her undeniable acting talent, the young stars in this film are not up to the task; professionals such as Galecki and D’Onofrio put in the bare minimum of effort necessary to earn their paychecks.
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“Rings” is a complete non-starter that, despite the fact that it may well win the weekend box-office battle (if only because of the lack of competition), will be mercifully forgotten by the vast majority of those who see it after seven days—at most, a month. For those looking for a scary movie to watch this weekend, I recommend “The Autopsy of Jane Doe,” an indie horror film that takes a potentially silly premise and executes it with a great deal of style and tension. If you are interested in learning what happened to Julia’s mother, who was unable to accompany her daughter to college because of illness, I am sorry to say that you are out of luck.Also, you must try to play this Rings quiz.
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