Respond to these rapid questions in our Ted 2 quiz and we will tell you which Ted 2 character you are. Play it now.
The dirty-talking-teddy-bear hit of 2012, “Ted,” was packed with a sufficient number of outrageous belly laughs that it was easy to let pass the fact that there wasn’t much of a movie underneath those laughs. The movie was packed with a sufficient number of outrageous belly laughs. Or, as I put it when I reviewed the first movie for another website, with such enthusiasm that I actually gave it three and a half stars (I’d adjust that to an even three if I could turn back time), “it really is not quite so different than that of a standard romantic comedy in which a stand-up but somewhat immature guy has to fight off his lesser angels, largely embodied in a slackerish best-friend character, in order to become The Man (and Hus “Man” refers to the character played by Mark Wahlberg, John; “slackerish best friend” refers to the character Ted, the dirty-talking teddy bear; and “ultimate bride of man” refers to Mila Kunis, who, as it turned out, displayed a great deal of common sense by deciding not to return for the sequel.
Since John is now divorced and addicted to porn, it is up to Ted, who is exceptionally vulgar, to pick up the slack in the storyline. At the beginning of “Ted 2,” the bear, who could use a wash other than soaping up his mouth, marries the former good-time hottie Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) at a wedding that is officiated by Sam Jones, who is famous for his role as the minister in “Flash Gordon.” (A significant amount of material from the first movie has been reused in this one.) As soon as their domestic bliss begins to deteriorate, the couple acts out a quasi-parody of the “you bother me about a steak” scene from “Raging Bull.” This scene is rather queasily unfunny due to the fact that a stuffed teddy bear is playing the role of Robert De Niro rather than in spite of the fact that this is the case.
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Ted 2 Quiz
The anything-goes creator of several animated television series, Seth MacFarlane, followed “Ted” with an Oscar-hosting gig that was distinguished by a callous smarminess, and then offered cinema a wildly unfocused and grandiose Western parody (“A Million Ways to Die in the West”). MacFarlane is also the co-writer and director of “Ted.” MacFarlane, who also voices Ted in a particularly lumpen variant of Boston Nasal, gets really aggressive with his “I dare you to be offended” brand of humor in this film, which is centered around a really lazily conceived “civil rights” case to grant Ted his “personhood.” MacFarlane also voices Ted in this film. In particular with regard to the matter of race. In one of the courtroom scenes, one of the prominent attorneys (there are three prominent attorneys in this movie; one is played by John Slattery, one by Morgan Freeman, and the third by Amanda Seyfried; take a wild guess as to which one gets to be Wahlberg’s love interest) actually invokes Dred Scott and draws a connection between that infamous case and Ted’s petition. Wahlberg’s character, Ted, is the defendant in this case. A whipping scene from the television miniseries “Roots” is played for the sake of pop-culture kitsch laughter in another scene. It is unclear how funny these and other similar “racially themed” jokes would play in a country that was not yet coming to terms with a racist massacre; however, I personally kind of doubt that a lack of horror in the headlines would boost the yuck value of such japeries.
Also, you will find out which character are you in this Ted 2 quiz.
About the quiz
In addition to jokes about race, “Ted 2” features an almost unbelievable number of jokes about marijuana, some of which are mildly funny, or at the very least, funnier than the jokes about raping. Then there are the jokes about gay panic, jokes about racial gay panic, jokes about celebrity cameos, and long stretches of no jokes, which is odd. During these stretches, the spooky kidnapping subplot from the first film is recycled, and it works much less well than it did in the first film, where it didn’t quite work but, you know, the jokes were funnier. Moreover, there are long stretches of no jokes during Onward we go from here.
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In contrast to the first movie, which I remember having almost a dozen good belly laughs throughout, this one barely registers more than a few of those. The maliciousness extends far beyond the racial issues, and it blooms into its fullest form during the film’s climactic scene, which takes place at a convention for comic book fans. Yes, you should think about the possibilities. An attempt at actual humor is completely ignored in favor of a relentless focus on the inhuman qualities that characterize fanboys, cosplayers, and other related subcultures. After a while, it will make you feel numb all over. Whatever goodwill the movie scored based on sentimental value or the few effective jokes in the front end is completely spent by the time the end credits roll. The movie’s acridity combined with ineffective humor is a bad mix, and whatever goodwill the movie scored based on sentimental value is wasted. I have a sneaking suspicion that it will be quite some time before we get to see “Ted 3.”
For more personality quizzes check this: Get Hard Quiz.
