Respond to these rapid questions in our The Choice quiz and we will tell you which The Choice character you are. Play it now.
Cute puppies, wind chimes made of seashells that make a tinkling sound, gazebos with deep meaning, and, as is customary, a torrential downpour that causes the sheer top that the lead actress is wearing to become completely drenched and see-through.
Another year has passed, and with it, another visit to the silly romantic outpost of Sparks-landia. This is a place that frequently asserts that it is located on the coast of North Carolina, but it is actually a place where logic does not apply, fate is more capricious than usual, and every nature shot appears to be a photoshopped postcard. Of course, these bestselling novels by Nicholas Sparks served as the inspiration for this fantastical paradise. They are not going to be confused with the works of Virginia Woolf or Philip Roth in the same way that the “Twilight” series or “50 Shades of Grey” are not going to be.
Instead, they are aimed at a specific demographic of readers who enjoy the sensation of temporarily evading the pressures and monotony of everyday life through the medium of stories about ardent love relationships, most of which are of the “white bread” variety, that are complicated by one or more challenges that pull at the reader’s heartstrings without requiring a lot of mental effort. Someone who has read way too many books written by Sophie Kinsella and Jennifer Weiner for her own good claims that there is nothing wrong with that.
On the other hand, something that reads perfectly normally on the page can come across as offensively childish or even ridiculous when viewed on the large screen. This is most certainly the case with No. 11 of these film adaptations, “The Choice,” which commits the gravest offense by coming to a conclusion that completely and utterly trivializes one of the most difficult decisions a member of the family can face. You won’t find any spoilers here, but if you’ve seen an advertisement or a trailer, you can probably guess what the “choice” is going to be.
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Considering that these endeavors hardly call for the creative direction of an auteur, it is always interesting to see who they recruit to head them. In this particular instance, it is Ross Katz, who is a co-producer on two films that were nominated for the Academy Award for Best Picture (“In the Bedroom” and “Lost in Translation”) and the director of the HBO series “Taking Chance.” Either he drew the short straw, or he owes a favor to someone else.
Casting is often the most important factor in making this kind of branded mush at least somewhat palatable. The “Citizen Kane” of Sparks-landia, 2004’s “The Notebook,” which showcased soon-to-be major stars and one-time, real-life couple Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, set the standard for making this sort of branded mush at least somewhat palatable. The central pairing in “The Choice,” however, is so poorly done that you may find yourself secretly hoping that the two characters, who are both boring and annoying, never end up together. When they engage in small talk by saying things to one another along the lines of “You bother me,” it’s difficult not to nod your head in assent to what they’re saying.
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Our hero is Travis, played by Benjamin Walker, who is best known for his role as Abraham Lincoln in the television series “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.” Travis is first seen arriving at a hospital via a boat with a bouquet of flowers and an emotional expression on his face. Cast your mind back seven years to when he was apparently the most eligible bachelor in Wilmington and when he used his watercraft as a pick-up vehicle to impress the ladies. When an old high school crush with goo-goo eyes stops by, he ditches his two married male friends and goes to a bar with the old flame, leaving them to fend for themselves.
Also, you will find out which character are you in this The Choice quiz.
It is true that Travis is a bit of a jerk; this judgment is supported by the fact that he hosts rather rowdy beer and barbecue parties on his front lawn for his friends, during which he plays “Black Betty” by Ram Jam at a very loud volume. He makes no attempt to appease his irritated yet attractive new neighbor Gabby, who is studying medicine and is playing the role of a medical student. Teresa Palmer, an Australian actress, portrays Gabby. But then her dog Molly gets pregnant, and she accuses Travis’ dog Moby of being the one who did it in an impolite manner; this is a situation that is oddly compared twice to the plot of the movie “Dirty Dancing.”
It turns out that Moby has been spayed or neutered, and Travis is a veterinarian. When he offers to help Gabby with the newborn pups, Gabby’s resistance to the boy next door begins to melt away. It’s too bad she already has a doctor boyfriend who looks like Hummer was modeled after him. Will he take off for a trip to a medical convention? Yup. Will Gabby and Travis be able to put their differences aside long enough to make love? Yup. Will Travis get the punch in the nose that he so richly deserves? You are aware of it.
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The deal is as follows. There is a moment when Gabby discloses to Travis, who is unfaithful, that she has faith in God and in the goodness of people, and yet she has no qualms about cheating on the guy who wants to marry her and have her join the family practice that was established by his physician father. In point of fact, she does not even inform him of the circumstances until she is compelled to do so. How are we supposed to be happy for her and Travis when she is so careless with her words and actions?
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Despite this, wedding bells will toll, children will arrive, and then, BOOM, something terrible will occur because this story takes place in Sparks-landia. But what else would you expect from a movie that employs pregnant bellies to denote the passage of time, utilizes cellphone messages to signal major turning points, and resorts to a cheap fake-out involving a cemetery?
Before we say goodbye to Sparks-landia, I would like to express my disappointment in the casting of one particular cast member who has been one of my favorites ever since “The Full Monty.” Every Sparks adventure requires an older and presumably wiser counterpart to the more youthful lovers, and in this case, that role goes to Tom Wilkinson as Travis’ widower dad and fellow veteran. The British actor’s tasks here, which include tending to sick lizards, flirting subtly with the owner of a canine patient, and supervising a church choir’s performance of Joe Cocker’s version of “Feelin’ Alright,” hardly require someone of his caliber. One aspect of Wilkinson’s performance left me perplexed, however: If Travis has such a robust good ol’ boy drawl that he practically spits out grits, why does his father sound like someone trying to hide an English accent?
While searching for ways to pass the time over the weekend, you, too, have a decision to make. Watching “The Choice” is probably not something you should put on your list unless you really, really want to hear the phrase “take a knee” associated with a marriage proposal.
For more personality quizzes check this: Spotlight Quiz.