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As they play off their well-established cinematic personas in “The Hitman’s Bodyguard,” the charismatic stars of the film—Ryan Reynolds, who shifts into lovable-loser mode as a downgraded protection agent for hire, Samuel L. Jackson, who goes macho and mouthy as a profanely proficient deadly assassin, and Salma Hayek, who plays his devoted wife—erupt in a burst of masterful comic
As for the high-speed vehicular stunts, they are exhilarating, relentless, and seemingly never-ending—and a little too numbingly generic for my taste.
The central concept of lethal adversaries who must put aside their differences in order to achieve a common goal is, however, an old one, as writer Tom O’Connor acknowledges with echoes of everything from “48 HRS. ” and” Mr. and Mrs. Smith” to “Midnight Run” and “The Gauntlet.” But it’s the odd-couple matchups that really draw people in, like Russell Crowe vs. Ryan Gosling in “The Nice Guys” and Kevin Hart vs. Dwayne Johnson in “Central Intelligence,” that’s the real draw.
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In this comedy, Reynolds’ cautious Michael Bryce is forced to keep Jackson’s reckless Darius Kincaid safe while transporting him from London to the Hague so that he can testify against a genocide-committing Belarusian dictator. The situation results in hearty laughter. Gary Oldman reprises his Russian accent from “Air Force One” in the role of the villain, whose disfigured face appears to be covered in crusty bread crumbs. Unfortunately, Oldman isn’t exactly firing on all cylinders as a performer. As they race against the clock on their hazard-prone road trip, the main dudes are on their game, turning the art of bickering into a non-stop aria of foul-mouthed mutual belligerence and, ultimately, reluctant respect.
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When Bryce complains that Kincaid keeps putting him in danger, Jackson responds with a resounding “I AM the danger.” “It is my responsibility to cause harm.” It goes without saying that the bodyguard should be aware of this given the fact that his passenger has attempted to take him down no less than 28 times over the course of the years. Occasionally, there are in-jokes, such as when Bryce complains that Kincaid “single-handedly destroyed the term’motherfucker.'” A musical beat is also present as Kincaid insists on drunkenly singing a bluesy number to pass the time while driving, while Bryce counters with a falsetto rendition of Ace Of Base’s “I Saw the Sign.” Even more unlikely was the idea that I would ever witness Jackson gleefully harmonizing in a van full of habit-wearing Italian nuns, as though he were auditioning for the part of the Mother Superior in “The Sound of Music.”
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The contributions of Hayek, whose Sonia is being held captive in a Dutch jail in order to ensure that Kincaid will provide evidence against Oldman’s bad guy, are not even included in the total amount. In prison, it’s hilarious to watch the actress calmly strike yoga poses while she fiercely lashes out like a flamethrower at any law enforcement official who has the audacity to interrogate her. Meanwhile, she intimidates her cellmate into taking a back seat in the corner of the cell block. Perhaps Hayek should consider making a guest appearance on the Netflix series “Orange is the New Black.” A particularly moving sequence depicts how Kincaid first met Sonia while working as a waitress at a Mexican bar, with Kincaid falling head over heels in love with her for the way she cared for hand-sy male customers by cutting them with broken beer bottles. “Hello,” by Lionel Richie, is playing in the background, and it adds a nice romantic touch to the scene.
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However, Bryce’s attempt to reunite with his onetime squeeze Amelia (French import Elodie Yung), an Interpol agent whom he accuses of obtaining a client of his shot, proves to be less successful. The arrival of murderous thugs interrupts their flashback to their first lusty encounter at a funeral, and the scene is cut short. However, the actors are unable to conjure up the same level of passion as Jackson and Hayek, who refers to her husband as “La Cucaracha” because, according to her, “He’s un-killable.”
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While no one will mistake “The Hitman’s Bodyguard” for a work of high art, it will appeal to those looking for a late-summer evening of entertainment. The question is, why did I feel so emotionally depleted by the cartoony chaos unleashed in the name of entertainment by director Patrick Hughes (“The Expendables 3”), when the body count among the mostly anonymous victims of violence—often dispatched in the name of humor—started ballooning to astronomical proportions? Was it because I was watching a movie about cartoons? The near-constant annihilation of no-good-niks became increasingly grating on my nerves, especially considering that much of the vehicular mayhem occurs in cities where terror attacks on major urban thoroughfares were carried out earlier this year, namely London and Amsterdam. As tragic as the death in Charlottesville was, there is nothing quite like real-life horrifying incidents to turn what was intended to be a fantasy into a mirror. Another example is when Oldman’s meanest mercenary cornered Bryce in an abandoned garage and beat him to death with an ax, hammer, and a metal chain that was later used as a noose before finally resorting to using a gun to finish him off. Cruel jokes are all too often turned into hollow jokes.
Furthermore, I believe that when it comes to action thrillers that are not based on comic books, older audiences—who have recently become the most loyal audiences in actual theaters—are hungry for more thoughtful stories and compelling characters in the vein of “Hell or High Water” or “Wind River.” Although “Baby Driver” is an upbeat pop song, it has a beating heart and a tinge of moral purpose at the core of its engine. Kincaid does bring up an existential conundrum at one point in the book: who is the person who works in the most moral profession? Is it better to be the one who kills evildoers or the one who protects those who do evil? That is about as intense as this carnage-a-thon can get at this point.
For more personality quizzes check this: The Emoji Movie Quiz.
