Respond to these rapid questions in our The Snowman quiz and we will tell you which The Snowman character you are. Play it now.
If man and woman are still alive in the year 2075, and if they are able to survive, and if they begin writing histories of twentieth-century cinema, “The Snowman” will serve as an excellent case study. Perhaps by then, enough evidence will have been gathered to explain why a film assembled by a group of mostly first-rate talents ended up being such a soggy, slushy shambles in the first place. It’s something I’m having trouble understanding.
The film, which is based on the best-selling mystery novel by J Nesbo, stars Michael Fassbender as Harry Hole, a Norwegian police detective whose moniker has already garnered a great deal of attention in the media. I’m baffled as to why they couldn’t have just called him Harry Chasm or Harry Abyss instead? The film opens with what turns out to be a flashback sequence of sorts. With what appears to be a lilac petal dangling in front of the lens, the scene is captured perfectly. A man in a police car pays a visit to a young boy and his mother in a large cabin in the middle of a snow-covered field. And it is there that the man administers a test to the boy, slapping the boy’s mother every time the boy answers a question incorrectly. Things continue to deteriorate, and eventually a Volvo sinks into a lake, leaving a young boy without a place to live. Cut to the present day, and Harry is recovering from a night out on the town in a bus shelter. Harry is a special police officer, and he conducts himself in an unusual manner. Katrine Bratt, who later on in the film becomes Harry’s unofficial partner on a serial killer case, informs him that she studied his cases at “the academy,” which is a reference to the Harry Potter series. Harry is a brilliant detective, but his personal life is a complete disaster. It is one of the film’s many flaws that the audience is exposed to far more of the mess portion of the story than the genius portion. In fact, I don’t believe the genius aspect of the character ever emerges.
I mentioned that I had first-rate abilities. The cast is what used to be referred to as a “International All-Stars” group of actors. Aside from Fassbender, the film also features the charismatic Rebecca Ferguson in the role of Bratt. Charlotte Gainsbourg appears as Harry’s ex-girlfriend, and she is excellent. Toby Jones works as a police officer in another town in Norway. Val Kilmer appears on the screen, his voice dubbed in a strange and inexplicable manner. As does J.K. Simmons, who speaks in his own voice while applying a credible and yet strangely unbelievable mid-Atlantic accent to the proceedings. If you haven’t heard him say “gaaaahzzh,” you haven’t lived. However, the prospect of paying sixteen dollars to hear him say “gaaaahzzh” does not appeal to me.
But you shouldn’t waste any more time and start this The Snowman quiz.
There are some big names who should know better when it comes to working behind the camera as well. The film is directed by Tomas Alfredson, who previously directed the extremely successful 2008 film “Let the Right One In” as well as the extremely ambitious and mostly successful 2011 film “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.” The three screenwriters, Peter Straughan, Hossein Amini, and Sveistrup, haven’t done anything particularly noteworthy to disgrace themselves during the course of their individual careers. Thelma Schoonmaker is the editor, and she has done a lot of work with Martin Scorsese, who is also an executive producer on this project. Let’s go back to the beginning of the film to talk about the editing process. Because of where the film ends, the viewer might infer that the orphan from the beginning of the film grows up to be the film’s hero. The fact that the film’s serial killer appears to know a great deal about Harry, and that the killer constructs snowmen at the scenes of his crimes, snowmen that look eerily similar to the snowman that appears in the film’s opening scene, creates a frisson, or is intended to create a frisson. The question is, how did the killer gain sufficient insight into Harry and his background to be able to taunt him in this manner?
The Snowman Quiz
Well, not to give anything away, but the film is constructed in such a way that the viewer is misled to the greatest extent possible. It occurs to me that there is a relatively simple explanation for this, which also relates to why this ostensibly adult thriller has an ending that is almost literally a gloss from a “Scooby-Doo” episode: the actual plot, once laid out in a way that makes sense, is so patently packed with convenient coincidences that it is almost simplistic in its execution.
Also, you will find out which character are you in this The Snowman quiz.
An additional problem is that snowmen are not frightening, and when you attempt to make them frightening, you only make the situation worse. Throughout the film, the camera pans from innocent-looking street scenes to… DANGEROUS SNOWMAN FACE, creating an effect that is very Dramatic Chipmunk, albeit less dynamic than in the previous film. To cap off all of the ineffective weirdness, the film ends on a tone-deaf note that says, “I’ve got a sequel if you’re interested.” I do believe, and I sincerely apologize for saying so, that it will be a cold day in hell before any of this comes to pass.
For more personality quizzes check this: Beatriz At Dinner Quiz.
