Respond to these rapid questions in our The Transporter Refueled quiz and we will tell you which The Transporter Refueled character you are. Play it now.
This weekend marks the conclusion of the summer movie derby for 2015, and one of the biggest winners of the competition can be identified as Jason Statham. He began the season in a confident mood thanks to the enormous success of “Furious 7,” the most recent film in the surprisingly long-lasting franchise, in which he played the lead antagonist. Later on, he had a role in the successful comedy “Spy,” in which he expertly sent up his tough guy screen persona to hilarious effect and garnered many of the film’s biggest laughs as a result. Now, with the arrival of “The Transporter Refueled,” the most recent installment of the action film series from one-man production slate Luc Besson, it appears likely that he will receive some of the most positive reviews of his entire career. The rumor has it that he turned it down after being offered a lower salary than his previous go-arounds and no opportunity to read the script beforehand. However, once people get a load of this listless retread, they will no doubt fall all over themselves in praising both the earlier ones and his significant contributions to them as a way of highlighting just how pointless this one really is. Of course, he isn’t actually in the film at all; the rumor has it that
A quick review for those of you who, for whatever reason, did not read the previous entries and are concerned that you will become lost in the conversation. They follow the exploits of Frank Martin, a former member of the Special Forces who currently resides in the south of France and makes a ridiculously lucrative living as a top-notch getaway driver. Naturally, he is the best at his job, and naturally, he lives by a certain set of rules that he is always ready to pontificate about at the drop of a hat. They follow the adventures of Frank Martin. Frank Martin is an ex-Special Forces soldier who now resides in (When it comes to the care and feeding of the common Mogwai, there are fewer rules to follow, but never mind.) One could argue that he is more lucky than skilled due to the fact that the majority of his jobs seem to end with him in the middle of high-speed and high-profile car chases that result in millions of euros in property damage; however, this is a topic for another discussion and will not be continued here.
When we first meet Frank (now portrayed by Ed Skrein), he is about to spend some time with his recently retired father (Ray Stevenson) when he is hired by the super-sexy Anna (now portrayed by Loan Chabanol) to pick her up outside of a bank along with a couple of packages. Frank’s father has recently been laid off from his job. It turns out that the “packages” are her equally glamorous colleagues Gina (Gabriella Wright) and Qiao (Wenxia Yu), and that the three of them have just stolen millions of dollars from a Russian gangster. It turns out that the three, along with additional babe Maria (Tatiana Pajkovic), are prostitutes who have decided to break free of Karasov (Radivoje Bukvic), the crime kingpin who has enslaved them since they were children, by stealing the ill-gotten gains of him and his associates through various elaborate means. Tatiana Pajkovic plays the role of the additional babe Maria. They require Frank’s assistance in order to accomplish this, and in order to ensure that he cooperates with them, they hold his grandfather hostage. It is possible to argue that there are situations in life that are more dire than being held hostage by a group of high-priced call girls in the south of France; however, seeing as how I would prefer to avoid being reprimanded by Jezebel, let us table that discussion for the time being.
But you shouldn’t waste any more time and start this The Transporter Refueled quiz.
To tell you the truth, this plot is not noticeably stupider in theory than any of the other “Transporter” movies. The characters are as black-and-white as they come, the narrative is little more than a laundry line to connect the action beats, and the entire enterprise is noticeably less complicated than the underwear worn by the female members of the cast. Because as far as cinematic eye candy went, they were of the gourmet variety; the action sequences moved with a combination of grace and giddiness that meshed well with Besson’s fondness for salting the carnage with goofy humor. Actually, I kind of liked those earlier installments, as I enjoy much of Luc Besson’s oeuvre. Besson may still have an interest in the franchise because he produced the film and co-wrote the screenplay, but his connection to the subject matter seems, at best, to be tenuous. The story is as silly as it has always been, but this installment is mostly devoid of the silly quirks that leavened the others. The story is so formulaic that one could cook ramen noodles on the screenplay, the dialogue is absolutely terrible (if I started quoting it here, I would never stop), and with the exception of our heroes making their escape through an airport terminal, director Camille Delamarre presents all of the chases and fights in the kind of overly edited fashion that is characteristic
The Transporter Refueled Quiz
Even though he was not always credited as such, Jason Statham was the secret weapon of the previous “Transporter” films. He turned out to be the ideal center for the chaos that was surrounding him by giving his tough guy character just the right hint of dry wit to suggest that he knew just how crazy the whole enterprise really was. Equally as important, his undeniable physical presence added an extra edge to the fight scenes. Here was the rare example of an action star who appeared as though he actually could do many of the moves that his character was asked to make. I have a sneaking suspicion that even he would not have been able to make much of anything out of this movie, but he almost certainly would have done more with it than Skrein, the man who would play Frank in the movie. No matter what he is asked to do, whether it be throw punches, race through the streets, or trade lines of dialogue, he is never convincing for even a second, and he feels less like an action hero than a placeholder for one who is forthcoming.
Also, you will find out which character are you in this The Transporter Refueled quiz.
“The Transporter Refueled” is a waste of time from the very beginning to the very end, and even the most ardent fans of Luc Besson will have a hard time defending it. I’ll admit that I’m one of those fans because I ranked “Lucy” as one of the 10 best films of 2014, so I’m guilty of falling into that category. The scene in which one of the hookers, and it hardly matters which one, is shot during one of the escapades and is taken back to the abandoned warehouse with a bullet still lodged inside her is one that I will always remember fondly. However, there is another part of the story that I will not remember as fondly. Frank and his father are unable to take her to the hospital, so they try to save her by employing some unconventional methods. These include using sugar, vodka, perfume, tweezers, and cobwebs. I have no idea if any of this actually checks out, but it could be a lifesaver the next time there is a shootout during a Halloween-themed fashion shoot for “Vogue.” I say this because I have no idea if any of this actually checks out. Beyond that, this is a retread of the dullest order; the marquee may say “Transporter,” but viewers are likely to walk away from it feeling more like “Taken.”
For more personality quizzes check this: Mr Holmes Quiz.
