Respond to these rapid questions in our Xxx Return Of Xander Cage quiz and we will tell you which Xxx Return Of Xander Cage character you are. Play it now.
A sequel to an action franchise that never got off the ground, starring the return of the leading man whose refusal to appear in the second installment was a contributing factor to the franchise’s failure, that is finally released in theaters almost a decade after the intention to produce it was announced, should elicit a reasonable amount of excitement. I suppose it is dependent on the situation. If I were to speak strictly for myself, I would say that Vin Diesel, who is returning to play Xander Cage, the James Bond of skateboarding who he first appeared as in 2002’s “XXX,” is the least exciting aspect of this 3D slam-bang fest.
A Chinese restaurant serves as the setting for the film’s opening scene, in which Samuel L. Jackson plays the outré spymaster Augustus Gibbons, who is attempting to persuade real-life soccer sensation Neymar to join the team. A disaster occurs, and stern, buttoned-up spymaster Marke (Toni Collette, who here is probably earning more money for simply maintaining an erect posture than she usually does when she is actually being an incredible actor) convenes a meeting in an appropriately eerie-lit CIA boardroom to discuss the situation. The McGuffin, here referred to as a Pandora’s Box, is introduced, and it is immediately snatched up by a crack team of black-clad, possibly villainous individuals who can leap tall buildings in a single bound, and other such feats of strength are displayed. Their number is represented by Hong Kong action star Donnie Yen, who made a strong impression in another recent blockbuster, “Rogue One.” Who will be able to recover the lethal object? Marke is tasked with tracking down the presumed-dead Xander Cage, who is currently spending his faked-own-death hours providing satellite television to impoverished children throughout Latin America. (Please don’t inquire.)
A cocktail napkin could have been used to write the plot, which included multiple double-crosses and the “this group must somehow form a you-know-what” plot beats that were common in the genre. Even though more thought was given to the cast of characters, particularly to those who embody the triple-X ethos (which is a thing—remember that there was a 2005 sequel starring Ice Cube and subtitled “State of the Union” in the absence of Vin Diesel), there was not much more thought given to the plot. In theory, this includes a disproportionately large number of women, which is to be applauded. Those who are required to act as if they are dying to get into bed with Diesel are perhaps a quarter of the population, which is less admirable in practice. In order to track down the identities of the intruders in the darkened boardroom, Cage travels to London and spends time sauna-side with an intelligence expert named Ainsley, who is played by Hermoine Caulfield, a young actress in her mid-twenties who looks about fifteen, and whose bikinied torso is practically drooled onto director of photography Russell Carpenter’s camera. The introductions of punky sniper Adele (Ruby Rose) on Xander’s team and fast draw Serena (Deepika Padukone) on the opposing team make things a little less unpleasant (but not for long). They almost make up for Nina Dobrev’s Becky, a nerdy girl who gives Xander her “safe word” within minutes or even seconds of their first meeting.
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Regardless, Xander doesn’t sleep with Ainsley; instead, she allows him access to about six of her girlfriends (in porn this is referred to as a “reverse gangbang,” and while what is depicted is hardly explicit, this is what the audience is supposed to believe occurred), after which Cage makes an observation about the lengths he goes to for his country that wasn’t particularly funny when it was first heard, in, yes, a James Bond film.
Xxx Return Of Xander Cage Quiz
Vin Diesel will be fifty years old this year, which is a significant milestone. His body is still in good shape, but his face is beginning to resemble a cross between Harpo Marx and that poor actor who played the Amazing Colossal Man. The screen is taken up by his head in medium close-ups, which takes up two-thirds of the frame. And his line readings haven’t gotten any more suave as the years have passed. In this case, forcing his character to be what used to be referred to as “catnip to the ladies” is nothing more than a bunch of leading-man aggrandizement that serves no purpose for the actual viewer.
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In most cases, D.J. Caruso’s direction is second-tier Bayhem, with the camera swerving from a low angle as, for example, a truck takes flight and pirouettes above the action on the screen. However. However, the final forty minutes of the film do come together in a fairly entertaining manner. The “Ohana means family” vibe emanating from Xander’s motley crew will be familiar to fans of the other franchise Diesel abandoned and then returned to, that “Fast and Furious” thing, which is set in Hawaii. This, combined with some “A-Team” zaniness, helps to make the intercut parallel action sequences of the climax, which feature Xander’s crew on the ground while Diesel and Yen battle the real bad guys aboard an intimidating government plane, work rather well. And Yen, despite the fact that he is cut away from too quickly and too frequently, consistently delivers the goods in the martial arts arena. (Diesel’s stunt double can often be distinguished from the real thing.) There’s also a fun cameo that I won’t spoil here, despite the fact that I’ve seen a trailer that gives it away, but that’s just life—still it’s kind of amusing nonetheless. It all culminates in a tease for the sequel, which I hope will hit theaters before Vin Diesel turns sixty, although seeing him on a skateboard at that age might be quite amusing and amusing at the same time.
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