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For a film that is so moving and frequently profound, “The Meddler” is a title that is both insignificant and misleading. Rose Byrne plays Marnie Minervini, the title character in the film, who is a mother in her sixties who relocates from New York to Los Angeles to be closer to her screenwriter daughter Lori (played by Susan Sarandon), who has recently ended her relationship with her actor boyfriend (Jason Ritter). Marnie is one of those mothers who is one of those mothers who calls her daughter five times within the space of a couple of hours, leaves a message each time Lori doesn’t pick up, and then leaves ten more messages throughout the day because she’s worried about not having heard back from her daughter yet. Marnie is able to channel her boundless energy into mothering total and near-total strangers because her daughter is unable to handle her relentlessness. She convinces Freddy, a helpful Apple store clerk played by Jerrod Carmichael, to continue his education by giving him rides to and from college. When she learns that a young mother who identifies as lesbian and goes by the name Jillian (Cecily Strong) cannot afford the wedding of her dreams, she offers to pay for it herself.
This description makes “The Meddler” sound like a lighthearted mother-daughter bonding movie with a hint of romance for Marnie, who is courted by two divorced men, Michael McKean’s earnest, nerdy Mark and J.K. Simmons’ divorced ex-cop Zipper, who tends chickens, rides a Harley, and plays guitar. This makes “The Meddler” sound like it could be a fun movie to watch with your mother. And it is comprised of all of those aspects. However, at its core, it is a story about the grieving process that people go through in real life. Marnie is still grieving the loss of her husband, and Lori is still coping with the loss of her father. This dear man, Joe, is only seen in photographs; however, he is the absent presence that looms over both women and is the driving force behind many of the choices they make. The script is full of details that are both expertly observed and rarely seen in Hollywood films, leading one to believe that the details were drawn from actual experience.
They actually did it. The writer and director of “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World,” Lorene Scafaria, based the film on the events that transpired between her and her mother after the death of her father. It appears that she kept a very detailed journal. Every few minutes there’s an image or observation that rings true to actual grief, as opposed to movie grief, such as the way that Marnie hesitates while checking a box on a form because the only “marital status” options are married and single; the way that the soundtrack fills up with Joe’s beloved swing and 1950s doo-wop when Marnie gets lost in a reverie for him; the scene where Marnie’s therapist suggests that she’s burning through the money Joe left her because When Marnie pays a visit to Joe’s family in New York and casually mentions that it has been a year since Joe passed away, they correct her and tell her that it has actually been two years since Joe passed away. Your sense of time shifts in this manner after the passing of a loved one or other significant person in your life. The miracle lies in the fact that it was caught on camera in such a casual manner.
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This is not even close to being a “depressing” movie, but neither is it chirpy nor coy, and it does not gloss over anything. Scenes that might play as superficially cuddly or heartwarming in other movies have a piercing undertone in this film because of the weight that Marnie and Lori carry, but they rarely discuss it. It’s not just a meet-cute that’s being delayed so that the movie won’t be over in half an hour when Marnie hangs out with Zipper, a silver fox with a mustache and a baritone drawl who politely informs her that his ride is not a motorcycle but a Harley-Davidson. When Marnie hangs out with Zipper, the film isn’t going to end in half an hour. Marnie is having second thoughts about dating Zipper because, in his own chill, Californian way, he makes her think of Joe, and she is unsure whether or not she is capable of loving a man like Joe again. Simply by the calm and patient manner in which Zipper listens to her, it is clear that he understands what she is saying, despite the fact that he is unaware of the specifics.
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These and other universal truths are conveyed powerfully both in the writing of the script and in the performances, most notably Sarandon’s. She initially has difficulty with the character’s New York accent, but she seems to understand the character on a profound level, right down to the way she gets stoned and seems to “conduct” a fountain, or the way her expression unfolds in wonder and gratitude when she watches a scene in her daughter’s TV pilot and realizes it’s drawn from their lives, and that Lori has transformed her own suffering into art, and that she has momentarily resurrected Joe through her writing.
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Scafaria has created a film that is thoughtful, insightful, and unique. It takes place in reality, much like “Terms of Endearment,” and it deals with real feelings, many of which are unpleasant or scary, but it does so with honesty, empathy, and knockabout humor throughout the entire thing. It has a delicate touch rather than a light one. It is going to come as a big shock to a lot of people how well this movie understands them on a fundamental level. It may not seem like much, but it has a lot to say about what it means to take things one step at a time when dealing with a catastrophe.
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