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It has everything: adorable puppies, tinkling seashell wind chimes, heartfelt gazebos, and of course, a drenching rainstorm that ensures the lead actress’ sheer top is completely soaked and see-through.
Another year, another visit to the zany romantic outpost of Sparks-landia, a place that frequently claims to be on the North Carolina coast but is actually a place where logic does not apply, fate is even more fickle than usual, and every natural scene looks like a photoshopped postcard from the past. It goes without saying that this fantastical haven is based on the best-selling novels by Nicholas Sparks. Their works, like the “Twilight” series and “50 Shades of Grey,” will be hard to distinguish from those by authors such as Virginia Woolf and Philip Roth.
The stories are intended for a specific audience that takes pleasure in escaping everyday life with tales of passionate, primarily white-bread love affairs that are fraught with a few obstacles and that tug at the heartstrings without taxing the brain. There’s nothing wrong with that, according to someone who has consumed far too many Sophie Kinsella and Jennifer Weiner novels for her own good.
However, what may appear innocent enough on the written page is frequently downright ridiculous if not insulting when viewed on the big screen. In the case of No. 11 of these film adaptations, “The Choice,” the film’s greatest sin is a conclusion that completely trivializes one of the most difficult decisions a family member may have to make. There will be no spoilers here, but if you have seen an advertisement or a trailer, you can probably guess what the “choice” is.
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It’s always interesting to see who they choose to direct these projects because they don’t necessitate the presence of an auteur’s vision. Specifically, Ross Katz, who has worked on two films that have been nominated for Academy Awards for Best Picture (“In the Bedroom” and “Lost in Translation”) as well as HBO’s “Taking Chance,” has been nominated for the award. He either got the short end of the stick or owes someone a favor.
In order to make this type of branded mush at least somewhat palatable, casting is often crucial, as demonstrated in 2004’s “The Notebook,” which starred soon-to-be major stars and one-time real-life couple Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams in a role that was reminiscent of “Citizen Kane” in terms of acclaim. However, “The Choice” completely mishandles its central pairing to the point where you might find yourself wishing that the blandly irksome twosome never even get together in the first place. It’s difficult not to nod your head in agreement whenever they engage in sweet talk by saying to one another, “You bother me.”
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A bouquet of flowers and a melancholy demeanor greet us when we first meet Travis (Benjamin Walker, best known for his role in “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”). Seven years ago, he was considered Wilmington’s most eligible bachelor, and he used his watercraft as a pick-up vehicle to attract the attention of attractive young ladies. As soon as an old high-school crush with goo-goo eyes walks through the door, he leaves his two married male friends stranded and heads off to a nearby bar with her.
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As a result of Travis’s tendency to throw rather loud beer and BBQ parties on his front lawn for his friends, which are accompanied by the blasting of Ram Jam’s “Black Betty,” this assessment has been reinforced. He doesn’t even bother to try to appease his irritated but attractive new medical-student neighbor Gabby (Aussie actress Teresa Palmer), who is huffing and puffing from her porch in displeasure. However, when her dog, Molly, becomes pregnant, she accuses Travis’ dog, Moby, of being the father—a situation that is oddly compared twice to the plot of the film “Dirty Dancing.”
It turns out that Moby has been neutered, and Travis is a veterinarian, and when he offers to assist Gabby with the newborn pups, Gabby’s aversion to the boy next door begins to dissolve. Unfortunately, she already has a doctor beau who has the physique of a human Hummer. Is he going to a medical conference in the near future? Yup. Will Gabby and Travis be able to put their differences aside long enough to get together? Yup. Will Travis receive a well-deserved punch to the chin in the near future? You’re well aware of it.
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Here’s how it works: In one scene, Gabby confesses to Travis that she believes in God and goodness, but she doesn’t hesitate to cheat on the guy who wants to marry her and bring her into the family practice that his physician father established. In fact, she doesn’t even tell him about the situation until she is compelled to do so by the authorities. How can we be happy for her and Travis when she behaves in such a carefree manner?
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Despite this, wedding bells will ring, children will be born, and then, BAM, something terrible will happen because this story takes place in Sparks-landia. Nevertheless, what can be expected from a film that uses pregnant bellies to denote the passage of time, relies on cellphone messages to signal major turning points, and resorts to a cheap fake-out involving a cemetery to make its point?
Before we bid farewell to Sparks-landia, allow me to express my disappointment in the absence of one cast member who has been a personal favorite of mine since “The Full Monty.” The older and presumably wiser counterpart to the more youthful lovers is required in every Sparks film, and in this case, that older and wiser counterpart is Tom Wilkinson, who plays Travis’ widower father and fellow vet. His responsibilities in this film—attending to sick lizards, gently flirting with the owner of a canine patient, and supervising a church choir’s rendition of Joe Cocker’s “Feelin’ Alright”—barely call for someone of his caliber. But there was one aspect of Wilkinson’s performance that I couldn’t quite put my finger on: why does Travis’ father sound like he is suppressing an English accent when Travis has such a strong good ol’ boy drawl that it makes him practically spit out grits?
If you’re looking for something to do this weekend, you have a choice to make as well. Going to see “The Choice” is probably not a good idea unless you really want to hear the football term “take a knee” used in connection with a marriage proposal.
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